13 Clear Signs Your Partner Really Loves You
If you have ever been in a romantic relationship, you may have found yourself thinking "Does this person really love me?" at one time or another. Wondering whether a romantic partner's feelings for you are aligned with how you feel about them is a question many ask themselves.
While a partner's feelings are usually best discovered by having open conversations with them about your relationship, there may be other ways for you to get a better understanding of the state of your relationship. If you would like to know if your partner really does love you, there are a number of signs to look out for. From the way that they approach difficult situations, to how they behave and relate to your family and friends — paying attention to the way your partner navigates your relationship could hold the clues to their feelings about you and how strong they are.
Disagreements are an opportunity to grow
People who are in a serious romantic relationship for the first time might have some preconceived notions about what makes a great partnership — specifically, that a relationship without any disagreements is a good one. Though this may be partially true, it can be a little unrealistic to assume that a couple will never disagree, or that disagreements mean that you're in a bad relationship. While disagreements and arguments may be unpleasant, the way your partner approaches conflict resolution can be a sign that they really care.
A partner who takes the time and makes an effort to work through conflict with kindness may be showing you that they really love you, even in situations when it might seem like you aren't each other's biggest fan. Noam Ostrander, an associate professor of social work at DePaul University, told Time that partners who respect boundaries during conflict, are careful with their language when expressing their needs, and take the time to learn how to best apologize to make their partner feel heard and validated are finding constructive ways to tackle fights.
You don't ever question their intentions
In the early stages of a relationship, it is not uncommon to be curious or have some unanswered questions in regard to a partner's intentions, especially if you yourself are looking for a long-term or serious relationship. While this in itself is not necessarily a red flag, a partner who is forthcoming about their intentions and acts upon those intentions accordingly is certainly a green flag.
A partner who really loves you is likely acting on their intentions to be respectful, trustworthy, and committed to you. When you know your partner means what they say, you can feel good knowing that their feelings are genuine, so you are not left with any doubts. This is because your partner's actions are always intended to make you feel happy, safe, and secure. Should you ever question their intentions, a loving partner should be open to ensuring that they get back on track, or clarify how their actions might have made their good intentions unclear.
They encourage and uplift you
You may hear people speak about being a cheerleader for their partner. Having a partner who is always in your corner, supporting and uplifting you through the many highs and lows of life, can be a sign that they really love you.
While celebrations may be in order for bigger or more significant achievements like career milestones, a loving partner might also encourage even small wins and accomplishments. If they try to find the good in any situation or focus on applauding all the things you're doing well, rather than highlighting negative attributes (without enabling you, of course), this may be a sign that they truly love you. A partner who does these things is likely reflecting their image of you back, an image of someone who should be celebrated and feel confident in themselves.
They continue to work on themselves for the benefit of your relationship
Let's face it — no one is perfect. It should go without saying that you cannot expect perfection from a romantic partner, or anyone for that matter. However, not being perfect also should not absolve a partner of bad behavior — especially if you have communicated your dissatisfaction.
Though people should seek to improve themselves for the betterment of their own lives, having a partner who is willing to work on themselves to improve your relationship is a sign they really love you. Navigating dating with mental health struggles can be a challenge, but it's not impossible.
It can be very difficult to receive tough criticism, especially from a partner, so if your partner listens, validates your feelings, and makes an effort to improve, it shows that they really value you and your relationship, as they want to be sure that they're the best version of themselves for the both of you.
They encourage healthy relationships with you and their loved ones
Meeting your significant other's family can be an important step in your relationship together. While some may say that being introduced to a partner's family is like a test to see if you will fit in with their loved ones, it can also be a sign that your partner has strong feelings.
There is a level of permanence in meeting someone's family, as it takes you from someone your partner speaks about to a real person that they may form relationships with as well. Becoming more than an abstract concept to your partner's family may mean that your partner is hoping to integrate you into their lives in a more meaningful way. If they value their relationship with their family, including you and encouraging a relationship between you and their loved ones may just be a sign that they genuinely love you.
Open and honest conversations come easily to you
It's easy to say that open and honest communication is the only way to have a great relationship. However, this may be difficult to put into practice, especially when tough topics are brought up.
Still, if your significant other really loves you, engaging in difficult conversations will be something that they will want to actively work through with you, in order to come out of the other side with a better understanding of one another. It's important to be direct with your partner and you should be able to expect a certain level of directness from them as well.
When you and your partner feel comfortable and confident in confiding in each other and expressing your needs and feelings, this may help you come together in the knowledge of what you both want from the relationship and emphasize the love you have for each other. The connections you make as you have these open and honest conversations, whether the subject matter is light-hearted or difficult, may emphasize the love your partner has for you.
They take the time to really listen
Oftentimes, when people speak about what it means to listen, they are talking about listening during conflict, or perhaps difficult or serious conversations in general. However, listening goes way beyond the scope of conflict. If your partner really loves you, you may notice that they truly listen to everything: your dreams, fears, likes, and dislikes — all of it.
Listening also means paying close attention. A partner who really loves you is likely actively listening and paying attention to what you say, as well as what you do. For example, picking up your non-verbal cues is a great indicator that your partner is paying attention and really learning all aspects of you as a person because they want to understand you on many levels. Keep in mind that a connection with a partner that goes beyond words does not mean that you can stop verbally communicating. Verbal communication is still important. Don't expect a partner to read your mind, no matter how connected you are.
They make an effort with your loved ones
While a romantic relationship typically involves two people, as time goes on, it is common to start including each other in your lives outside the relationship — meaning, most often, introducing each other to your respective friends and families. While wanting to make a good impression isn't necessarily indicative of true love, a partner who makes a real effort to make genuine connections with your family members, especially over time, might signal that they are investing in your future together by building a rapport with the people who are important to you. If your partner and family are genuinely happy to spend time together, can hang out without you as a social buffer, and check in with one another, even by asking you how the other is doing, these might be positive indicators that there is real love and care there, for you and your loved ones.
You are made a priority
Prioritizing your partner doesn't necessarily mean putting them above all things at all times, but there are signs that your partner is making you a priority in their life. Considering what you need and how you will fit into certain aspects of their routine is a way for your partner to show their feelings for you.
According to Dr. Abby Medcalf, there are many ways that a partner who really loves you can show that they prioritize you, including, "Making an effort to spend 'quality time,'" or if a partner "puts down their phone and gives [you] their undivided attention." Even these simple things can show that your partner really loves you because they want to dedicate their time and attention to, and with, you. "When we make time for others, they feel important," Medcalf says. "The secret is that you don't need to make a lot of time, but it needs to be Connecting Time."
They value your opinion and input on important matters
If your partner really loves you, they are likely to trust your judgment and value your opinion. This is not to say that a partner should not think for themselves, but rather, that a partner feels confident and supported by the opinions and input you share with them, especially when it comes to difficult topics that they typically would not share with just anyone.
And though your significant other may not always need your opinion, it might be a sign that they really love and care for you if they discuss things with you just to hear what you have to say on the matter. This shows that they are open to sharing different facets of their life with you. Turning to you for opinions or advice also shows that they have a significant level of trust in you, as they are opening themselves up to the possibility of hearing an opposing view, and are welcoming that in an open and honest way.
You are a factor when they think of their future
Thinking about the future when you are in a relationship is usually a good sign. It means that you are reaching a level of care and love to consider how your significant other will fit in your life, and how you two can build a life together. A partner who is open and enthusiastic about including or considering you in their plans for the future is likely someone who has genuine feelings and love for you.
It might be a sign that your partner really loves you if they talk about future plans with you, such as the possibility of moving in together, or how you each envision your future. Love is almost certainly a factor when you or your partner start thinking about having each other in your lives in a permanent way. A partner who loves you and wants you in their life might feel that you and your relationship are checking off a number of boxes that show them that your relationship will work and thrive in the long run.
Your happiness is their happiness
In any partnership, it is not uncommon to want to make the other person happy. If you are wondering whether your significant other really loves you, the way they respond to your happiness may be a clear sign. A partner celebrating your accomplishments is one thing, but it is another thing entirely when a significant other puts your happiness above their own.
If making or seeing you happy brings genuine happiness to your significant other, this might be a sign that they really love you. That level of consideration and selflessness on their part may not be something that most people can count on in a casual relationship. It may take a lot of effort and genuine care to actively put someone else's happiness before your own. To find joy in that as well shows that your significant other really does want to see you happy.
They make an effort to keep physical intimacy alive and exciting
Physical intimacy might seem like an easy sign that someone has romantic feelings towards you. However, the way your significant other pursues your intimate relationship can reveal how they truly feel about you. If your significant other really loves you, they may show a heightened interest in making sure that you experience as much pleasure as they do in the bedroom, whether that means bringing toys into your sex life or engaging in more foreplay.
After some time together, a partner who is open and willing to keep the spark alive by communicating and exploring with you can be a sign of genuine love and care. They are taking the time to nurture the passion you share so that you both continue to feel those exciting sparks, as well as pleasure and satisfaction in your intimate life.