Standing On Business: The TikTok Relationship Strategy, Explained
We live in a time where social media, TikTok especially, is at the helm when it comes to trends. If someone with enough followers declares something so, then it is so. Because of this, we've seen a lot of dating trends emerge from TikTok and the most recent is "standing on business." And, as far as dating trends go, it's a good one.
"Standing on business" first started making the round thanks to TikToker Druski in September 2023. According to his video and the others that followed, "standing on business" basically means practicing what you preach and sticking to your guns no matter what comes your way. In dating that would look like calling someone out for doing you dirty, then not wavering in your decision to steer clear of them despite their attempts to wiggle their way back into your life. Sure, it might hurt and you might go mad trying to keep yourself from having the last word, but if you're "standing on business," then you need to stay strong and follow through with your decision.
According to a 2018 study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, when you practice what you preach, those around you are more likely to trust you. As the research found, when someone's words and actions don't align they're not only regarded as a hypocrite but lacking in morals and ethics, both of which are condemnable in our culture. In other words, being morally corrupt isn't "standing on business" and that can be an extremely toxic trait when you're out there in the dating world.
The benefits of standing on business
The biggest benefit of "standing on business" is self-preservation. According to life coach Shawnda, it helps to "protect you and make sure you're not getting used, taken advantage of," and that no one is wasting your time. "It's about you saying, 'I know what I have, I know what I bring to the table, and I'm not settling and the minute I feel like that's what you're trying to make me do, the minute I feel like you're trying to condition me to accept less, I'm going to call you out on it, and I might even cut you off,'" said Shawnda.
Although there are billions (yes!) of single people in the world, sometimes we find ourselves trapped with someone who doesn't deserve us. We see the red flags waving in the wind, we tolerate things we shouldn't, and we find ourselves spending oodles of time making excuses for them. For some, this behavior is because they're actually in love, while for others it's a fear of being alone. In fact, a 2013 study published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that this fear runs so deep that 40% of people are willing to put up with a lot of garbage just so they don't have to be without a long-term partner. But if instead of succumbing to fear — again, there are billions of other singles in the world — these people put themselves, their needs, and self-respect first, they'd not only be standing on business, but their love life and mental health would be better for it.
How to put it into practice
First up: know your worth. If you can't see how great you are, then you can't harness the necessary self-respect needed to call out people when they're not giving you what you deserve. You need to advocate for yourself, set boundaries, and communicate when your needs aren't being met. You should never let anything that doesn't align with what you want and need to just slide by and assume it won't happen again. When we give people who don't respect us an inch, they usually end up taking a mile.
"Know and decide that you are worthy of having your needs met," holistic sexual coach Devi Ward Erickson told Bustle. "If you are in a healthy relationship, your partner will be excited to meet your needs, not angry that you have expressed them... [This] requires feeling safe in your relationship, and having trust that your partner will hear and receive you without judgment... [This] can be especially challenging for younger people, who have had less experience navigating the sometimes-murky waters of relationships, and are still in the process of discovering a strong sense of self." But lack of experience shouldn't be an excuse you use. You need to step up and put "standing on business" at the front so you know you tried. If the person you're dating can't see where you're coming from, then ciao, arrivederci, sayonara, buh-bye.
No one is entitled to your time, your heart, and your person. People should make an effort if they want to be in your life. Where there's no effort and respect, then "standing on business" should always be your response.