The Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives: All Your Sex Questions About The Show, Answered

If you're anything like us, you've been hooked on Hulu's insanely binge-worthy reality series "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives." Following the trials and tribulations of the LDS ladies of #MomTok, the show gives a peek behind the scenes of what being a modern Mormon mom is really like. Taylor Frankie Paul, Jennifer Affleck, Mayci Neeley, Demi Engemann, Whitney Leavitt, Mikayla Matthews, Jessi Ngatikaura, and Layla Taylor certainly didn't hold back when it came to sex confessions, proving that not all Mormons shy away from chatting about their sex lives. We saw Leavitt debate if promoting a line of solo sex toys would be on brand for her, and we even watched Ngatikaura proudly show off the results of her labiaplasty surgery (which is becoming increasingly common).

Though Mormons are traditionally much more reserved than this group, it makes sense that sex was such a big part of the show. After all, the series came about thanks to Frankie Paul's notorious 2022 TikTok Live, in which she exposed herself and her friend group as soft swingers. "No one is innocent. The whole group [of friends] was intimate with each other," she claimed (via Newsweek). After dusting off from the drama and rebuilding bridges, The Saints and The Sinners had us asking plenty of questions about their intimate confessions. And we're bringing you all the answers.

One of the most scandalous talking points on "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" was Demi Engemann's Fruity Pepples confession. Whitney Leavitt told her fellow Mom Tokkers that Engermann had opened up to her about a sex act she'd done with her husband involving the cereal. Leavitt whispered exactly what happened to the other ladies and attempted to re-enact it by making one of the other Mom Tokkers lay down on the floor. She stood over her and squatted down on her face, before explaining her (ex-)friend's intimate act during her confessional (via StyleCaster), "The fruity cereal has to do with taste." However, viewers never found out what exactly happened. And the internet has been flooded with theories ever since. 

Defector speculated that Engermann may have placed the cereal inside her private parts for her husband to eat (something we wouldn't recommend, as it could upset your vaginal pH). The outlet also suggested they may have engaged in oral sex after Engemann consumed something that made her genitals taste like the cereal. The speculation has been equally hot on Reddit, where one user even suggested Engemann may have given her husband a golden shower. The jury's still out on this one though, so until the couple decides to set the record straight, we won't know exactly what fun they got up to.

The whole reason we got to bask in the glory of "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" is because Taylor Frankie Paul confessed that she and some other #MomTok couples attended swinging parties. She admitted to kissing a number of her friends and their husbands but didn't name names, and also confessed to going "all the way" with one husband, violating the agreement. But what exactly is soft swinging?

There are technically two definitions. The first refers to a couple who initiates sexual activity while in the company of others, but no one engages in an act with anyone else's partner. So, think of a couple having sex in the same room as their friends who may or may not be watching. Then there's the second definition, which appears to more closely relate to Frankie Paul's experience. That take refers to couples giving each other permission to take part in sexual acts with someone outside of the relationship — as long as it doesn't involve penetration. The boundaries depend on each couple, but allow things like kissing or sexual touching.

Speaking on "The Viall Files" in September 2024, Frankie Paul explained that some married Mormon couples partake in soft swinging to have sexual experiences within marriage, just not with their spouse. "A lot of them, their spouses were like [the] first person they've even been with, so it was very new to them, so it was exciting," she shared.

"The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" viewers will probably recall the women discussing soaking. Soaking involves a heterosexual couple being intimate, as the penis-owner inserts it into their partner's vagina. But there's no movement involved. Not only is any kind of moving to create pleasure a no-go, but neither is allowed to orgasm either. Essentially, it's a way for unmarried Mormons to be intimate but still technically claim that they have not had sex. "It's a thing," Taylor Frankie Paul confirmed on "The Viall Files," claiming many Mormons participate in sexual activity "loopholes." "But we're taught don't do it until you're married," she noted. "So it's like, bad, bad, bad. Married: Good."

But other Mormons have denied soaking actually happens. "Oh my gosh. Soaking is not a thing. People just have sex," one person commented on the TikTok upload of Frankie Paul's interview. "Y'all soaking is a MYTH. Maybe like 3 people have actually done it but we're not STUPID," another wrote.

During "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" girls trip, viewers saw Jennifer Affleck unpacking her bag only to discover she'd left her "garments" at home. But what are said "garments"? They're essentially very modest underwear pieces that are given to devout Mormons who reach a certain status in the church. They're not strictly related to sex, but that's one of the few times a Mormon person isn't required to wear them. They can also take them off while exercising, swimming, or getting clean, but are usually required to wear them at all times otherwise.

Speaking to Women's Health, Affleck explained, "It's honestly the same as wearing your wedding ring. It's just a reminder of the promises that you made." Affleck added that she'd decided since filming the series not to wear her garments every day, but that wasn't a representation of her faith. "I have a lot of members who follow me, and I think a lot of the time they're like, 'Oh, if Jen's not wearing her garments, is she not devout anymore?' No, that's not the case at all. I think it's just a personal decision and you have to make that decision day-by-day," she said.