What If Shower Sex Could Actually Be Fun? Our Steamiest (& Safest) Tips
You and your partner should feel comfortable having sex anywhere you want, as long as the place you're choosing is safe and private. Having sex on your bed or sofa is typical, but have you also been thinking about having sex in the shower every once in a while? Some folks are convinced that shower sex is the best, since the presence of water adds an extra layer of steamy fun.
Others are convinced that shower sex is the worst since it can be slippery, difficult, and awkward. At the end of the day, it's up to you and your partner to figure out exactly how you want to enjoy your time with each other — whether it's in or out of the shower. If you do decide to get intimate under a stream of running water, there are several important tips to keep in mind in order to wholeheartedly enjoy the experience.
Use a shower bench or seat
You might want to install a shower bench or seat before trying to have shower sex with your partner. The reason this helps is that it gives you the chance to stay as stable and balanced as possible during the experience. It also gives you the chance to explore different positions that won't be possible if you don't have anything to hold onto or sit down on. A shower bench or seat comes in handy if your partner wants to sit down with you on top.
It also works if you want to grip a surface while leaning forward or away from your partner. Since slipping and falling during shower sex is a very real concern, minimizing the chances of that happening with a shower bench or a seat should be at the top of your to-do list. Fortunately, shower benches and seats are incredibly affordable if you search for one from an online store like Amazon or Wayfair.
Make sure the water temperature is up
It's crucial that you keep the water temperature up during shower sex with your partner. There's a reason people jokingly talk about taking cold showers to put a halt to their sexual desires. When you douse yourself in ice-cold water, it becomes incredibly difficult to continue thinking about sexual things since your body instantly enters a state of shock. Cold water resets your nervous system and helps break anxiety attacks, which means it's certainly helpful in other cases.
When it comes to getting hot and heavy with your partner, though, cold water is your worst enemy. For those with penises specifically, cold water is known to make genitalia shrivel up and hide away as a form of protection. Making sure that the water temperature is warm enough for you and your partner to feel comfortable is key. By that same token, you also don't want the water to be scalding hot. If you two feel like you're burning up way too much, that can also kill the mood.
Buy lube that's actually shower-friendly
You might assume that the water of a shower is enough of a lubricant for your sexual experience to go off without a hitch. Unfortunately, that couldn't be further from the truth. Water isn't a lubricant. Water's great for cleaning things up after you're done, but it shouldn't be what you depend on as a lubricant when you're in the heat of the moment. Opting for a lubricant that's shower-friendly is going to be your best bet.
This means you can't purchase a typical bottle of lube that you would use for sex on your bed or sofa. Regular lube will easily wash away right down the drain. Shower-friendly lube is different because it's created with water-resistant ingredients. As long as the lube you're purchasing specifies that it is indeed water-resistant, you'll be just fine. It's easy enough to find shower-friendly lube at stores like Target, Walmart, or CVS. You can also search for specific brands online that can be delivered to your doorstep.
Purchase a non-slip shower mat
Non-slip shower mats are an absolute must if you want to have safe and enjoyable shower sex with your partner. There are plenty of non-slip mats to choose from, but they're not all created equal. Keep that in mind when you start shopping for a trusty mat to bring your shower sex fantasy to life. Some shower mats are designed with small suction cups at the bottom that are supposed to keep them secure beneath you.
Unfortunately, if the suction cups are way too tiny, they don't always do their job by holding the mat in place. You're often times better off choosing a shower mat with larger suction cups underneath. One of the smartest ways to handle shower mat decision-making would be to choose an option that perfectly fits the bottom of your tub or shower floor. Take a few measurements before making final decisions so you'll know if the shower mat will successfully fill all the space.
Keep particular soaps and shower products away from your genitals
Keeping particular soaps and shower products away from your genitals might not seem like the easiest thing to do when you're in the heat of the moment. Still, it's definitely something you should prioritize. The same body wash you use on your neck and shoulders shouldn't be used between your legs. The shampoo and conditioner you use to wash your hair also shouldn't be used between your legs. Sugar scrubs that take off your top layer of dead skin cells shouldn't touch your genitalia at all.
There are specific soaps and washes designed for genitalia use, but if you don't have those, you shouldn't be using anything other than water in the area. According to Imbue Natural, it's actually far more harmful to use body wash between your legs. Just because certain products are great for cleaning the majority of your body's surfaces doesn't mean they should be used in your most intimate areas, for health-related reasons. Even products advertised designed for genitalia use aren't always very good for you, so check the labels and with your doctor.
Continue practicing safe sex since water doesn't protect you from anything
You might've heard a rumor back in high school that having shower sex (or hot tub sex) couldn't possibly lead to a pregnancy. That rumor is completely false. Water doesn't do anything to protect you from pregnancy, which means you can very much conceive a child while having sex in the shower. Even with flowing water involved, it's not possible for any water to block a connection between fertile eggs and sperm. The same rule applies when it comes to STDs.
Water simply won't protect you from an STD if the person you're hooking up with is exposing you to something. Regardless of where you choose to have sex, you should continue practicing safe sex for your own health and well-being. This is especially important for individuals who aren't interested in getting pregnant or having babies anytime soon. This is also crucial for individuals who don't want to contract incurable STDs at any point in time. Practicing safe sex entails using birth control methods such as the pill, IUD, or Depo-Provera shot, and wearing condoms or dental dams.
Don't hesitate to incorporate water-proof sex toys
Waterproof sex toys can turn your shower sex experience into something much more exciting if you and your partner are open to it. Again, this should be something that you're both on the same page about. If sex toys make you feel too uncomfortable, don't let your partner force them into the scenario against your consent. If your partner is visibly uncomfortable with the idea of using sex toys, don't feel the need to pressure them into changing their mind, either.
Sex toys only make sex better when both people are excited about using them. Of course, you can use regular sex toys while having sex on your bed or sofa, but it's a little different when you start incorporating them into a shower situation. You have to make sure the toys you're using are completely waterproof so you and your partner don't end up getting electrocuted ... or worse.
Experiment with stable sex positions
As far as sex positions in the shower go, the more stable you and your partner can be, the better. If anything feels unstable to one or both of you while you're having shower sex, it can ruin the entire experience. Instead of letting loose and living in the moment with each other, you'll be too worried about slipping, falling, and hitting your head against something. It's incredibly difficult to enjoy something so intimate when your mind is stuck in a place of stress or worry.
Stable sex positions will give you both the chance to enjoy yourselves without thinking about the worst possible case scenarios — like falling down. Standing Doggy, the Standing Leg Wrap, and mutual masturbation are just a handful of ideas to explore. If both of you have both of your feet on the ground, you'll probably be just fine. If one or both of you has something sturdy to hold onto, that's also a green flag.
Set the mood with steamers, candles, and music
Shower sex will already be steamy and fun. Still, it's a great idea to consider setting the mood anyway to create a more memorable experience. When setting the mood for shower sex, you might want to pull some of the same ideas you'd have for setting the mood during a solo dip in a bubble bath for relaxation. Instead of being alone, though, you're obviously with your partner.
Using steamers, candles, and music will take you far when it comes to turning your bathroom into a more romantic and blissful space. The reason candles make such a positive difference is that smells and fragrances can influence how erotic a moment feels. Choose candles that smell good enough to get you and your partner in the mood. Music is also a big factor since the melody and lyrics of what you're listening to will be diving into your subconsciouses.
Use it as an opportunity for your partner to ejaculate somewhere new
If you and your partner are accustomed to cautiously ending your romps in ways that don't create a mess, having shower sex could be your chance to explore something new. You can use it as an opportunity for you or your partner to ejaculate somewhere new without having to worry about the cleanup process afterward. This is a helpful tip if you're dating someone who's vocalized their curiosity about ejaculating on your face or chest at some point.
You might not have been stoked about the idea in the past because you were thinking about how messy it would be. Knowing that you can immediately rinse everything off while having sex in the shower takes away from those concerns. Keep in mind that just because it's an easier cleanup, you still don't have to agree to anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or degraded. Anything you and your partner do with each other sexually should come from a place of mutual trust and respect.
Don't forget to keep rinsing
One of the most important rules to keep in mind while having shower sex is that you can't forget to keep rinsing. In other words, you can't get so distracted in the heat of the moment that you forget to rinse yourselves and the shower floor off as you go. The reason this is vital is that it's way easier to slip on lube, ejaculate fluid, or other cleansing products that have dripped underneath your feet if you aren't rinsing everything down consistently.
The biggest fear people have with shower sex is that they're going to fall and hurt themselves, which means doing everything you can to prevent that outcome should be taken seriously. This tip is easier to follow when you already have a removable showerhead that can be aimed in different directions. If you don't have a removable showerhead, it's still not the end of the world. You can still turn the spout in any direction necessary.
Use your handheld showerhead to your advantage
Handheld showerheads are beyond beneficial while having shower sex. If you already have a handheld showerhead to use, you're at a great advantage. Some people use showerheads for solo masturbation since the rush of flowing water can be incredibly stimulating. If you're already fully aware of how great a showerhead can feel in a sexual way, don't be shy when it comes to using your handheld showerhead with your partner.
Although they might not be able to appreciate the same exact benefits of a handheld showerhead that you do, there's a chance they'll enjoy seeing you use the handheld showerhead on yourself in front of them. It's also nice to know you can aim the stream of water at any body part during each moment of your sexual experience. When the showerhead is stuck in one place, you're not exactly able to get creative. Having shower sex without a handheld showerhead can feel sort of limiting. Fortunately, you can easily install a handheld showerhead at a low-cost rate.
Don't forget to dry off as soon as you're finished
Drying off as soon as you're finished having shower sex with your partner is super important. You might want to lie down in bed together and cuddle without grabbing towels, but that would be a huge mistake. Staying wet breeds bacteria and leads to yeast infections. It only takes a minute or two to dry yourselves off before laying down together somewhere outside of the shower.
Instead of skipping this necessary step, make sure that it becomes a priority for both of you. Drying out your most intimate area between your legs is the most important factor in all of this. If you wouldn't leave yourself dripping wet after a normal cleansing shower, then you certainly shouldn't do that after having shower sex with your partner. One of the easiest ways to make sure the two of you dry off after you're done is by keeping a couple of towels folded up or hanging nearby to grab as soon as you're ready.
Recognize that great hygiene during sex will be an added benefit
An added benefit that comes along with having shower sex is that improved hygiene will be part of the mix. For people with partners who might not always smell or taste the best, shower sex can remedy that issue. You might not feel comfortable calling your partner out about hygiene issues, but this way, you don't necessarily have to say anything at all. They'll freshen up underneath a stream of fresh water and you get to avoid an awkward conversation.
It's also great for people who love rinsing off before sex to feel sexy, clean, and confident with their sex partners instead of feeling insecure about their own tastes or smells. You might be the type of person who pauses things with your partner to rinse off for a second before having sex, which can occasionally kill the mood. Having sex in the shower means you don't have to press pause on the passion.
Appreciate the easy cleanup process afterward
Cleaning up after shower sex is an easy process. All you have to do is let everything wash away down the drain, which doesn't feel like much effort at all. This is great news for couples who constantly end up with large puddles or wet spots on their beds or sofas from ejaculation, squirting, spitting, and sweating. You don't have to worry about stripping the sheets and blankets off your bed for an impromptu round of laundry after having shower sex with your partner.
Everything instantly rolls off you while in the shower with your partner, during and after sex. Take a moment to truly appreciate how wonderful it is to eliminate any concerns or worries about the cleanup process that comes with having passionate sex. Whether you're the one who's always doing laundry, or your partner is the one who takes on that role, you can both take a break from that if you choose to have sex in the shower.
Don't feel confined to the shower to finish, just because that's where you started
Just because your sexual experience started in the shower doesn't mean you're confined to stay there. You don't have to finish there, just because that's where you started. In other words, if you and your partner are realizing that it's simply too difficult to climax in the shower, don't hesitate to migrate to a more familiar place such as your bed or sofa. There's no reason to add an unnecessary layer of pressure on yourselves to accomplish a successful shower sex experience if it's not working out.
If you're having sex with a partner you truly trust, they won't judge you for changing your mind about having shower sex. The same rule applies to you if your partner vocalizes that shower sex simply isn't cutting it for them. Instead of making each other feel judged about anything, it's best to be gentle and accepting of each other. Experimenting with shower sex is a normal thing to try, but that doesn't mean you have to love it or force it.