How Bite-Sized Sex Can Change The Way You Think About Intimacy

We've got a new term on our sexual radar, and it's offering a lot of food for thought. In a clip shared on TikTok by Steven Bartlett, sex expert Tracey Cox introduced the term "bite-sized" sex, offering a whole new way of looking at intimacy with our partners. "Bite-size" sex, as Cox explained it, is made up of small moments of intimacy that continue to foster a deep connection with our significant other. "Sex doesn't have to have a beginning, a middle, and an end," Cox added. What we traditionally think of when it comes to intimacy — foreplay, followed by intercourse, followed by pillow talk — is great, but Cox urges people to see more possibilities. 

@steven

The No.1 S*x Expert Tracey Cox shares how we can have great s*x every time. Would love to hear what you think of this 👀 #thediaryofaceo #stevenbartlett #podcast #podcastclips #interview #relationshipadvice #relationshipproblems #intimacycoach #advicetok

♬ original sound – Steven Bartlett

"Bite-size" sex can be any means, no matter how small, of feeling connected with your partner. "Just do something sensual together," Cox said. "You have a bath together; that counts as sex." The concept of "bite-size" sex can be really helpful. For some, sex anxiety is a real thing, and the act of intimacy can sometimes be overwhelming. Or let's say you're feeling depleted another day, and so skipping sex seems like the only option. After all, it can sometimes be so athletic that we've wondered if sex can be considered exercise. Sex can also be a huge time commitment, and if you're facing a busy day, sex seems impossible to fit in. So "bite-size" sex is a way of enjoying sensuality with our S.O. without it needing to be a big deal. 

Taking the pressure off of sex and diving into "bite-size" sex can work wonders in your relationship. After all, "bite-size" sex is really just small, pleasurable ways of sensually connecting with your partner. As Tracey Cox explained, dive into eroticism without the pressure of the whole deal of sex. Have a passionate make-out session, or receive oral sex without an expectation of returning it, or vice versa. And if you struggle to receive oral sex from your partner, try communicating with them about it. Because these small, erotic bursts of "bite-size" sex can be spontaneous and quick, they weave an amorous tone to your days together as a couple. 

Neuropsychologist Sanam Hafeez spoke to NBC News about the dangers of losing that spontaneous spark together. "This can mean that we have lost sight of the value of doing things for each other that generate joy or intimacy in the other person. We stop trying to impress, we stop trying to understand, and in such environments, vulnerability and feelings can get lost to the routine of the everyday," Hafeez explained. "Bite-size" sex keeps sex itself as a primary part of your daily experience together as a couple. Coming together sensually in micro-moments throughout the day will feed the macro sex arc of your relationship. It breaks you out of routine and turns up the heat, which often leads to a full meal of sex. 

Getting into the practice of "bite-size" sex doesn't need to be complicated. To implement it in your relationship, start by noting moments within your existing routine that could be more erotic. Take a shower together, or walk around naked in front of each other as you're dressing. Kissing is one of the best ways to tap into "bite-size" sex, and we don't mean a quick peck. As Psychology Today points out, couples who continue to engage in passionate kissing throughout their relationships report higher levels of intimacy and sexual arousal. It keeps you emotionally connected to your significant other, and it even boosts each other's moods. So implement amorous moments of real smooching to get into the groove of "bite-size" sex. Sexting and sending each other nudes throughout the day is another wonderful way to keep the echo of sex present when you're apart. Erotic touching, massages, and physical touch are all crucial ways to feel close. 

While Tracey Cox's message is a great one for couples to try, it's worth noting that not all viewers agreed with her entire message. Cox said in one moment that intercourse was the least favorite part of sex for many women. Some are pushing back against Cox's comment that women don't like intercourse. "Huh??? Can we stop acting like sex isn't enjoyable for women???" someone responded. While this comment got some pushback, many loved the idea of upping the dose of sensuality in daily life.