Dealing With Dryness During Sex? Here's How To Handle It

Although a lot of people tend to think of vaginal dryness as something that only happens to people approaching menopause, the fact is that anyone with a vulva can encounter it at any age, for a multitude of reasons. According to Women's Health Concern, 17% of people, ages 18 to 50, experience vaginal dryness during sex, making it somewhat common.

Vaginal dryness occurs when the vaginal walls don't properly lubricate on their own during intercourse. When this happens, you may experience soreness, itchiness, burning, and overall discomfort. After sex, there may be some cramping or even mild bleeding. While the pain may not be the worst thing in the world, it can definitely be enough to make you not want to have sex, and it shouldn't be ignored. "If you allow dryness and vaginal thinning to go on long enough, sometimes it's harder to fix it," OB/GYN Anita Sadaty, MD told Business Insider. "At some point, it's difficult to restore the anatomy."

Vaginal dryness may seem like a difficult subject to tackle, but it really shouldn't be. Once you acknowledge it, then you can start treating it. No matter the reason for your vaginal dryness, there are ways to manage it and make sex enjoyable again.

If you know your vaginal dryness isn't related to a hormonal shift like menopause, then you need to look at other factors. Medication, for example, can play a role. "Over-the-counter cold and allergy formulas contain antihistamines that dry out the mucus membranes in your nose, as well as your vagina," OB-GYN Alyssa Dweck told Women's Health. Some birth control and mental health medications, too, have been known to cause vaginal dryness.

Another possible reason could be where you're at mentally and emotionally. Stress of any kind or insecurities can easily dry out a vagina — no matter how aroused you might be. "A woman distracted or overburdened by other things in life ... will likely be distracted and not feel amorous," psychologist Ramani Durvasula, PhD told Glamour, adding that body image issues are another type of stress that can throw a vagina off balance.

Vaginal dryness could also be the result of an allergy to a new product you're using or simply not being aroused enough. We can't overstate the importance of foreplay before penetration is initiated. 

One word: lube. It's all about choosing the right lube for you and your body. The best way to do that is to look for a personal lube that's free of parabens, glycerin, fragrances, and warming properties to avoid irritations and possible infections. "Vaginas are really sensitive and sometimes you have to go through a process of elimination and figure out what does and doesn't work for you," Dr. Ina Park told Business Insider.

Not only is being aware of the ingredients important, but having some basic knowledge about lubes will also help. For example, water-based lubes are usually your best bet because they can be used with silicone toys and latex condoms, whereas silicone lubes can't be used with silicone toys and oil-based lubes can't be used with latex condoms. If your dryness is due to hormonal changes like menopause, then your doctor might prescribe vaginal moisturizers or hormone replacement therapy (HRT).

No matter the reason or what you use to alleviate it, the important thing is to address it. "Reduced moisture in the vagina can also upset the balance of vaginal flora — the bacteria living inside the vagina — which can increase the risk of issues like urinary tract infections, vaginitis, and bacterial vaginosis," OG/GYN Dr. Elizabeth Rosen told Livi. When that happens, you have an issue on top of an issue. But if your vaginal dryness persists, then you should see your doctor for a pelvic exam.