What Is Grounding (& How Can It Enhance Solo Sex)?

Although we tend to think of sex and sex-related acts as mostly, if not strictly physical, there's so much more going on. While initial physical touch tends to get things moving, it's the brain doing most of the work. Because of this, it's paramount for your body and your head to be completely in the game. In other words, you need to be mindful, and a good way to harness mindfulness is through grounding.

"Grounding is a therapeutic method designed to help you return to the present moment," psychotherapist, CEO, and founder of Holistic Wisdom, Inc., Lisa Lawless, Ph.D. exclusively tells Women. "It can help you feel more in tune with your body and surroundings." According to Lawless, when it comes to intimacy, both solo or partnered, being able to ground yourself allows you to not only relax but thoroughly enjoy what you're experiencing more deeply. It means you've been able to shut out all the noises of life and focus entirely on being in the present. "[Grounding] can pave the way for a more profound and enriching sexual experience as it allows for increased awareness, vulnerability, and connection with ourselves," says Lawless.

If you're someone who struggles to be in the moment when you're masturbating, then grounding might be exactly what you need. It may not necessarily guarantee an orgasm, but it will help shift your focus to enjoy the journey, and every little sensation along the way. 

Simply put, when you practice grounding during masturbation, you've weeded out all the background hoopla that comes with life. Because you've been able to temporarily ignore day-to-day distractions, you can more easily hone in on everything you're feeling, seeing, and hearing. When you do this, solo sex becomes an all-encompassing exploration of pleasure and you gain a greater understanding of your sexual desires, needs, and wants. You may find it easier to orgasm when you're grounding or, if having an orgasm is something that comes relatively easy for you, your orgasms may be more intense and fulfilling.

"Grounding can also nurture a deeper sense of connection with your own body, fostering more self-love and overall acceptance," says Lawless. "It can be incredibly empowering for those who face challenges with their body image, sexual functioning, or sexual confidence." According to a 2020 study published in Sexual Medicine, people who are dissatisfied with their bodies don't have the same orgasm response as those who have learned to love and accept themselves — both during masturbation and partnered sex. So if your body image isn't what it could be, then grounding can help you get there and, in turn, your sex life will be better for it.

According to Lawless, three ways to practice grounding are: be aware of your breath, have all five senses engaged (sensory focus), and visualize. If you've done yoga, then you already know that focusing on your breath is an easy way to ground yourself. "Begin by taking deep, slow breaths, and become observant of the movement of your chest and abdomen," says Lawless. You'll find with each breath, your awareness of your body will become heightened, allowing you to feel more present and connected.

In keeping with awareness comes focusing on your senses and emerging yourself in everything that's around and within you. "Notice how your skin feels against your clothes, the warmth or chill in the air, and even the sound and rhythm of your breathing," says Lawless. When your sensory awareness is sharpened, you feel more aligned with your body.

Visualizations come in many forms and are rewarding, explains Lawless. Visualize yourself in the sea with the cool waves carrying you, making you feel light and free. Or visualize the warm sun penetrating your muscles, releasing tension with each breath. "Visualizations like this can help significantly reduce stress and promote relaxation," says Lawless, adding that they help you create a mental space where you're present and "capable of enjoying intimacy on a deeper level." Once you've mastered these three techniques, you'll be well on your way to being a grounding expert. It takes practice, but your solo sex sessions will be better for it.