Sadfishing: The Cringiest Internet Trend Yet, Explained

There's a new term in the world of social media: sadfishing. This word alludes to the trend used by some who exaggerate their emotional state to generate sympathy. While it's not uncommon for people to share about heartache or pain, when it becomes a frequent, potentially exaggerated online personality, then someone might be performing sadfishing. The behavior can come with a payoff; friends and followers might be more likely to reach out, offer sympathy, and shower that person with attention. Journalist Rebecca Reid created the phrase after Kendall Jenner went viral for sharing her misery over acne, only to later partner with Proactiv, a skincare brand targeted towards acne reduction. People felt like the exhibition of anguish was merely a marketing strategy, and started to flag it not only in celebrity behavior, but also among the average person online.

The Journal of American College Health dubbed sadfishing a "maladaptive" online behavior, in the hopes of addressing this digital trend. Some might be guilty of indulging in it, while others want to find out how to help those near and dear to them who seem to be enacting sadfishing. To better understand this latest phenomenon, Women spoke with licensed psychologist and clinical assistant professor in the dept. of psychiatry, NYU Grossman School of Medicine, Rachel Goldman, PhD. Dr. Rachel explains why someone might practice sadfishing, and how we can support those who exhibit this online action. 

Not all sad posts qualify as sadfishing. Dr. Rachel Goldman tells Women that we need to be mindful of the different benefits people gain from social media. "Some people may be oversharing or publishing these exaggerated emotional states for attention, but it's important to note that not everyone who overshares is necessarily sadfishing. Some people just overshare in general and they like to share everything online." Dr. Rachel notes, most importantly, that some might genuinely be struggling. 

However, oversharing about personal struggles can, sometimes, be sadfishing. According to HuffPost, those with anxious attachment styles tend to practice sadfishing more than others because they don't perceive their support network as available enough. As Dr. Rachel notes, there can be perks to sadfishing. An individual can get attention, support, sympathy, and validation. Once received, an individual might be more likely to repeat the behavior. "Most things we do in life serve a purpose, and if we get the response we want, then we are likely to do it again (the theory of classical conditioning and positive reinforcement)," Dr. Rachel explains. 

In some cases, the need for support is genuine. But in other cases, particularly on social media, the motivation can be more calculated, like acquiring a bigger following. "It seems like these kinds of stories/videos get a lot of attention, even if they aren't the most positive comments ... even negative comments can cause the algorithm in your favor to get more views, etc," she explained. 

Sadfishing becomes an unhealthy behavior when it involves manipulation to get others to feel pathos and pity. It also rarely leads to genuine connections. Instead, the recipients of sadfishing can feel emotionally exploited and be less inclined to help others in the future when they use social media to share bad news, where the person who's sadfishing falls into a repetitive behavior.

Women asked Dr. Rachel what would likely be going on with someone who's sadfishing. She explains that the worry is really about what's going on behind the scenes to trigger these social media patterns. "What's more concerning to me is the why," Dr. Rachel begins. "I would say that the fact that someone needs to engage in this behavior is concerning. Most likely the individual participating in this behavior does not have a good support system, and may even have low self-esteem and low self-worth." There's no doubt that correcting low self-esteem can be a really challenging task, but it's worth looking at if sadfishing starts to seem appealing. Emotional outbursts from poor emotional regulation could also be contributing to sadfishing. Dr. Rachel explains that sadfishing likely occurs when a person is craving emotional validation, but not getting it from other places in their lives. 

It can be difficult to distinguish between sadfishing and genuine expressions of sorrow online. According to Forbes, there are a few identifying traits that make a person's posting genuine. If an individual is frequently posting about their mental health, if they just went through a crisis, they're facing health issues, or they seem withdrawn in real life, these are all indications that it's time to reach out. Offer an empathetic ear, or suggest that it might be time to look for a therapist.

Dr. Rachel Goldman tells Women that if someone is actually sadfishing and we respond, we can accidentally reinforce the behavior. However, Dr. Rachel adds that if the person is a friend, and even if they're sadfishing, that means something is going on. If their sadfishing is negatively impacting you, then take the space you need. But if you can, reach out. "You can text them and say you saw what they posted and wanted to check in," Dr. Rachel suggests. "You could also say something like, 'I've noticed you sharing a lot on social media lately. It's hard for me to know if you are struggling right now or not, but I care about you. Do you want to talk?'" Dr. Rachel says to be mindful of what you commit to so that you don't burn out, but it can be perfectly reasonable to address sadfishing with a friend or loved one in an empathetic way.