5 Relationship Red Flags We've Learned To Avoid Thanks To Jennifer Lopez

As much as Jennifer Lopez has some major America's Sweetheart vibes, when it comes to relationships, she just can't win. Lopez has been married four times and engaged even more. Most recently, she got back together with Ben Affleck after 20 years apart, and finally tied the knot. But the couple barely made it two years before divorce rumors started to swirl, and the two separated in September 2024.

With all these failed relationships, one has to wonder exactly why Lopez is getting herself involved with men and situations that are loaded with red flags. Affleck alone is a walking disaster. We're not just talking about someone who cheats, gambles, and lies, but a man whose ex-wife, Jennifer Garner, had to stage an intervention for his drinking problem, just so he could turn around and blame her for his alcoholism. "I'd probably still be drinking," Affleck said on The Howard Stern Show in December 2021. "It's part of why I started drinking alcohol was because I was trapped." 

It's one thing to be a hopeless romantic, but it's another thing to be downright foolish, and that seems to be Lopez's modus operandi and she doesn't appear to be doing anything to change that. Thanks to Lopez and her endless relationship red flags, we've learned what to avoid. 

In 2017, Jennifer Lopez began dating New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez and the two announced their engagement in April 2019. Although the couple was set to get married in the summer of 2020, the nuptials were postponed due to Covid. As early 2021 rolled around, it looked as though the two were finally going to get hitched, but in the spring of that year, J.Lo and A-Rod called it quits. "She insisted on [the breakup]. There are too many issues that are unresolved," a friend of Lopez told People in April 2021, adding that there were trust issues on Lopez's part. "She has been pretty miserable and didn't think it was in her best interests to stay with Alex."

Although at the time, it was believed that Rodriguez was having an affair with Madison LeCroy of "Southern Charm," it was far from the only time he'd been accused of cheating. In July 2008, Rodriguez's wife, Cynthia, filed for divorce claiming emotional abandonment and extramarital affairs. He'd also be accused by Jose Canseco, his former teammate, of sleeping with Canseco's ex-wife at one point. 

But Rodriguez's history as a cheater extends past sleeping with other women — he'd also been caught using performance-enhancing drugs. With A-Rod's history, it's shocking that Lopez — or any woman for that matter — would have even gone near him in the first place. 

While the dating world is full of toxic dating trends, one of the trends that's considered truly deplorable is love bombing. In fact, in the UK, people who love bomb can face up to five years in prison for their behavior because of its controlling and manipulative aspects. Although that may be the case across the pond, it's certainly not how things roll in the U.S. and Jennifer Lopez's brief fling with Drake looked to be exactly that — something he appears to have done with others, like Rihanna for example.

In 2016, Drake and Lopez were caught "canoodling," as the paparazzi would say, and Drake went all-in with now-deleted Instagram posts about Lopez. In an appearance on "The Daily Show" in 2017, Lopez told Trevor Noah that she wasn't with Drake, but that didn't stop Drake from bringing up the short-lived relationship in his 2018 song, "Diplomatic Immunity," as he rapped, "2010 was when I lost my halo / 2017 I lost a J.Lo." Being loved and adored may be life's greatest reward for some, but when it's dropped on you like a bomb, it inevitably goes up in smoke. 

How Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez found their way back to each other after 20 years is likely to be one of those mysteries that will never be solved. After all, the reason for their breakup the first time around was the fame and media circus surrounding them — something they couldn't possibly have thought would change the second time around. "We didn't try to have a public relationship," Lopez told People in 2016. "We just happened to be together at the birth of the tabloids, and it was like 'Oh my God.' It was just a lot of pressure."

Once the two were back in each other's lives, Lopez couldn't keep the relationship out of the spotlight because she was clearly in love and wanted to shout it from the rooftops. Affleck, on the other hand, didn't want any of that. In the documentary, "The Greatest Love Story Never Told," Affleck said, "I had a very firm sense of boundaries initially around the press while Jen I don't think objected to it in the way I did. I very much did object to it ... Getting back together, I said, 'Listen, one of the things I don't want is a relationship on social media.'"

As happy as Lopez was because of their reunion, Affleck never looked happy with the situation. Even at awards shows, his face suggested that he was thinking that they made a mistake. Again.

If you're trying to build a life with someone, you want that person to be free of bad habits and inappropriate behavior — especially if you want to have an adult relationship that includes kids in the future. However, that hasn't stopped Jennifer Lopez from dating men who do some seriously childish things. Both Ben Affleck and Drake have an affinity for strippers, the former being caught in strip clubs getting lap dances while dating Lopez, and the latter's history with strippers is extremely well known and part of his identity. While stripping, like any type of sex work, is an admirable profession, dating someone who has a penchant for paying women to perform for them while in a committed relationship can be dubious, to say the least.

Then there's P. Diddy. Although what we know now about Diddy is something that wasn't on anyone's radar when Lopez dated him from 1999 to 2001, the fact that he did have a criminal past and carried a 9mm gun to a club doesn't bode well. Thanks to the now-infamous night in December 1999, the two were arrested and Lopez spent the next 14 hours crying in a jail cell. To add insult to injury, P. Diddy has since claimed that he used Lopez as a gun mule, saying she was the one carrying the gun and she gave it to him. Lap dances, guns, and talking smack about an ex? Red flag!

Jennifer Lopez has proven that she's not so great at being alone. Or she's a hopeless romantic who needs to think with her head more than her heart. In 2002, she started a relationship with Ben Affleck before her divorce to backup dancer Chris Judd was finalized in 2003. Having not learned her lesson of giving herself time to regroup before entering into another relationship, Lopez married singer Marc Anthony five months after she and Affleck ended their engagement.

Although Lopez and Anthony would be together for 10 years and have twins, Lopez even admitted that she was terrified to be alone. In her book, "True Love," Lopez wrote of the decision to quickly marry Anthony: "I chose to believe that Marc and I were meant to be together — that destiny was stepping in. In that moment, I needed to believe that; I needed to believe in something. The reality was, I didn't want to be alone — so when Marc was there, when he met me with his big smile, his heart on his sleeve, and his arms open wide, I was more than happy to let myself fall into them." While it's great to meet someone who isn't emotionally unavailable and always waiting in the wings for you, it does create a power imbalance in the relationship, which is a red flag.