The Red Flags In Ariana Grande & Ethan Slater's Relationship We Just Can't Ignore

Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater began dating in 2023, after sources confirmed the relationship with People on July 20, 2023. The two met on set for the film "Wicked." Grande had separated from her husband, Dalton Gomez, after two years of marriage and three and a half years together. Meanwhile, Slater and his wife Lilly Jay welcomed a son in January 2023. However, after news aired that Slater and Grande were romantically linked, Slater filed for divorce from Jay on July 26, 2023. 

While Grande and Slater got roasted in public opinion for the perceived overlap of their relationship with their past relationships, the couple claims that all previous ties had been appropriately severed. For instance, an insider told Page Six that Slater and Jay had been separated for two months before he and Grande fired things up. Whatever the case — and it's worth noting that the couple insists that things weren't shady — people still can't help but focus on the abrupt beginning of Grande and Slater's relationship. As such, Women reached out to relationship expert Nicole Moore to speak about the red flags in their dynamic. 

Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater met on the "Wicked" set while they were both married to other people. The couple repeatedly denies that their connection started through an affair, but the timing suggests that there was some level of intimate connection while they were both in their marriages. Our expert, Nicole Moore, certainly felt this was not only likely but pretty obvious. "One of the biggest red flags in Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater's relationship is that the pair met when they were still seeing other people," Moore tells Women. "While the couple maintains that their relationship didn't start via cheating, it appears as if they may have formed a very close emotional connection while still dating other people." 

For our relationship expert, this is problematic for the relationship's health going forward. "Forming physical or emotional connections with others while still married is a huge red flag as it can indicate that both partners have issues staying faithful in a relationship," Moore says. Based on the timeline — for example, Slater filed for divorce from wife Lilly Jay after news of his and Grande's relationship broke — it seems a little too close for comfort. As Moore states, this could have issues for Grande and Slater's relationship moving forward. Namely, that they might struggle with fidelity with each other since their relationship began with so much potential overlap. 

Breakups are rotten; there's no denying that. They're emotional and tumultuous and take a lot of healing. This is why it's so helpful to own the murky waters and emotions after breakups. It can take a lot of mental work to get to a good place about the breakup. As such, there's a seductive temptation to bypass this pain by jumping into another relationship quickly.  

According to Nicole Moore, this is likely what happened between the couple, and points to problems. "The fact that Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater moved on so quickly from their previous relationships to being together is also a big red flag as it's unlikely that each had fully healed from their past relationship before jumping into this one," Moore says. Our expert adds that it's necessary and healthy to partake in a healing process after a significant relationship ends; since both Grande and Slater were married, they likely didn't give those monumental relationships enough grieving time. Moore adds, "It's possible that both Ariana and Ethan are using the relationship as a way to avoid what may need to be healed within them and this is a huge red flag." Breakups are challenging times, but they do demand a process and timeline to effectively move on. 

Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater's relationship sparked a lot of rumors, namely that the romance between them started while they were married to other people, and that Slater walked away from his wife and child to be with Grande. That's a lot to contend with as a new couple, and challenging no matter who you are, but when it hits the level of stardom that Grand inhabits, it inflames things even more. 

Nicole Moore has a take on their reluctance to address the gossip. "Ariana never took the time to address any of the rumors circulating about her relationship directly and this could be a red flag indicating that some of those rumors were actually true," Moore tells Women. It certainly makes things look a little shadier. For the record, Grande has spoken a little about her new relationship. In an interview with Vanity Fair in September 2024, Grande said of Slater: "There couldn't be a less accurate depiction of a human being than the one that the tabloids spread about him." However, she wasn't completely transparent. Later in the interview, she stressed that there are details about her relationship with Slater that she'll never talk about. While no one is under any kind of obligation to dish about their personal life, it does seem a little suspicious that Grande insists on staying tight-lipped. 

The end of Ethan Slater's marriage to wife Lilly Jay was even more tricky than Ariana Grande's divorce from Dalton Gomez, because the former had a baby. While our expert Nicole Moore discusses both Grande and Slater's rebound behavior as problematic, she focuses primarily on Slater's here. Namely, Moore is concerned that Slater jumped ship before he properly ended his marriage. "The fact that Slater left his wife and child to be in another relationship before his relationship had fully completed is a huge red flag as it indicates that he may have issues staying loyal to those who care for him," Moore tells Women. "It's never easy to end a relationship, however, the fact that Slater may have avoided facing the end of his marriage head-on and instead distracted himself from the issues with Ariana points, perhaps, to an inability to handle conflict in an honest manner." 

Conflict is certainly the operative word here, because Jay has since come forward expressing her hurt and betrayal. "[Ariana's] the story, really. Not a girl's girl," Jay told Page Six. "My family is just collateral damage." While we have to take an ex's account with a grain of salt — she understandably feels hurt and betrayed — Jay's statement could indicate a lack of proper closure between her and Slater. 

Ariana Grande has been notably defensive about her relationship with Ethan Slater; it's come up not only in how she speaks publicly about her new romance, but also in her newest album, "Eternal Sunshine," which came out in March 2024. For Nicole Moore, defensiveness can often be a sign of guilt or an awareness that all is not as it seems. "Another red flag in Grande and Slater's relationship is that Ariana has spoken in a very defensive manner about the relationship when asked and also in her songs about the relationship," Moore tells Women. "People often get defensive about their relationship when there are underlying issues that they don't want the world to see."

Grande even admitted to the controversial nature of "Eternal Sunshine," and its lyrics. While speaking on "The Zach Sang Show" in January 2024, Grande joked that releasing an album about her relationships was "the absolute worst idea," (via Us Weekly). She added, "I'm so nervous, because pieces of it touch on things that are real and then pieces of it are also just, like, part of the concept. So, what is that separation?" Grande understands that listeners might not be able to parse out artistic license from reality, and that could lead to more misunderstandings.