5 Reasons Why Doggy Style May Not Be The Best Sex Position For You

Of all the sex positions that we can choose from, doggy style remains a favorite among many. According to a 2024 survey by Bed Bible, 35% of people claim it as not only their favorite, but their most used sex position. Another 2024 survey conducted by online pharmacy ZipHealth found doggy style is the most preferred among people in the UK and the US by 59%. In other words, doggy style is in.

While that may be the case, not everyone enjoys it. Like the 69 position, which people either tend to love or loathe, doggy style doesn't suit everyone — especially if you're on the receiving end. Although this position can allow for great G-spot stimulation, considering the majority of people with vulvas need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, doggy style isn't exactly the best position if your goal is to climax. But that's just one reason why doggy style might not do it for you.

To get to the bottom of things, Women exclusively spoke to Dr. Jennifer Litner, sexologist and founder of Embrace Sexual Wellness, about why not everyone sings the praises of doggy style. Beyond health issues like chronic pain, a tilted uterus, or endometriosis, Dr. Litner shares some other reasons why you might not be into doggy style.

Think about it: if you're on the receiving end in the doggy-style position, you're on all fours, propping yourself up with your arms, with a lot of pressure being placed on the wrists. Even if your joints are relatively healthy, it's not a comfortably sustainable position.

As Dr. Jennifer Litner points out, holding your body up can get exhausting. If you factor in an overzealous partner who, despite caring for you and your well-being, gets wrapped in the moment and engages in some major thrusting, holding yourself in that position can be quite a feat. That's why it's important to speak up. "Communicate with your sexual partner(s) about what you need from them regarding the pacing of penetration, lubricant, and stimulation," says Dr. Jennifer Litner. 

To give yourself a bit more support, you can also drop your elbows, or collapse the position entirely so you're lying down. Granted, if your partner is a visual person and you're fully lying down, they will lose their view. Also, if there are sex toys at play stimulating the clitoris, reaching that area can be challenging when you're flat on your stomach.

One of the most intimate things in the world, both in and out of the bedroom, is eye contact. Not only is eye contact essential in creating trust and building intimacy, but it also plays a role in the release of oxytocin. "Maintaining eye contact creates a calming, connected state of being that, after 30 to 60 seconds, triggers oxytocin," psychologist Linda Jackson told Whole Being Institute. "As we experience this chemical release each time eye contact is maintained, those small boosts add up to a sustained good feeling." With doggy style, there is no eye contact, so that type of intimacy is lost. But there are ways to get around it if you want to stick it out.

"If you want more of an intimate vibe, see if your partner can incorporate some loving gestures, verbally or nonverbally, to enhance the connection," says Dr. Jennifer Litner. If that still doesn't do the trick and you need eye contact during sex, then tell your partner that doggy style isn't doing it for you. Eyes are the windows to the soul and if you want to feel like you're seeing into the depths of your partner, then that's your thing and you should embrace it.

Sex is supposed to be an enjoyable, stress-relieving event. But if you're someone who doesn't like doggy style, then there's a chance that's because you're not able to relax when you're holding your body up and putting pressure on your wrists and knees.

"Some people feel more relaxed when they are lying down," Dr. Jennifer Litner tells Women. "[Doggy style] can be more of an effortful and athletic position depending on the length of time." It really can. Some people don't have the energy or the physical strength to hold doggy style for a long period. If you add to the equation a partner who takes a long time to climax or, because they're comfortable on their end they intentionally prolong things, then your ability to relax and truly enjoy yourself can feel like a distant dream.

Of course, if it starts to feel like forever and you're dealing with sex anxiety because of it, it's important to communicate that to your partner. "Mix it up," says Dr. Litner. "Add in different positions so you won't spend the entire time doing something that's not your favorite." After all, doggy style isn't the only one to choose from, and there are a plethora of relaxing positions that are likely to be a better fit. 

Sex is a very vulnerable act, and certain positions can increase vulnerability to a point that can get so awkward that you just want to find a way out. "Some people may be self-conscious about their backside being exposed," says Dr. Jennifer Litner. "As a receiver, this position can feel vulnerable."

While it's important to realize that your partner is enjoying the view and loving every minute of it, sometimes even this fact can't help the situation — and that's understandable. We live in a culture that pushes unrealistic beauty standards and something as intimate as sex can make you hyperaware of your own body. If this is the case and it's getting in the way of you enjoying yourself, share your concerns with your partner so they have a better grasp of what's going on in your head and the extra vulnerability that the position is causing you.

Even if you normally don't experience claustrophobia, that doesn't mean you won't find yourself in certain situations that induce it. Believe it or not, doggy style can do this, according to Dr. Jennifer Litner. "[Doggy style] can be unideal for those who have a tough time in spaces," says Dr. Litner. If you're thinking this might be the reason you don't like this position, then work with your partner to have sex in an area where you don't feel so trapped or like you can't take a deep enough breath. Doggy style can be done anywhere and doesn't require you being face-to-face with a headboard or wall.

Like all sex positions, you're not under any obligation to like doggy style. If it's not for you, for any number of reasons, then it's not for you. But it is something worth discussing with your partner so they have a clear understanding of why you don't like it so they don't push the issue. No one should get stuck having sex in a position they can't stand, for even a minute or two.