5 Famous Book Couples That Are Full Of Red Flags

The most romantic books can sometimes idealize relationships that would be toxic nightmares in real life. From obsession disguised as passion, to controlling behavior framed as care, we can find ourselves rooting for pairings on the page that we otherwise would not. 

Of course, just because we recognize some problems with these pairs doesn't mean we're against them. After all, red flags don't equal dealbreakers and, in the right context, it can be healthy to accept your red flags. But literature helps us to understand ourselves better, which is probably why we've learned so many good love lessons from romance novels. Sometimes the biggest takeaway is a better understanding of what we don't want. 

Suffice it to say that these are beloved couples we feel a bit cautious about — and these guys aren't making anyone's best book boyfriends list. Here are five famous literary couples who shouldn't be considered relationship goals, even if we love these books.

"Twilight" author Stephenie Meyer has revealed that Edward and Bella's love story, about a 104-year-old vampire who falls for a seemingly ordinary high school girl, was influenced by classic romance novels like "Wuthering Heights" and "Pride and Prejudice." But in classic leading man tradition, Bella's vampire boyfriend displays several blood-red colored flags. 

Edward's overprotectiveness often comes at the expense of Bella's independence. Before they're even dating, he sneaks into her room to watch her sleep. He also follows her to a nearby town under the guise of protection. Most would find this alarming, but Bella sees only romance. In real life, using safety to justify control or isolation is a major red flag for abuse. Even Robert Pattinson, who portrayed Edward in the film adaptations, agrees. "If Edward wasn't a fictional character and you met him in reality, he is like one of those guys who would probably be an axe murderer or something," he told British OK! (via Seventeen).

Edward isn't the only problematic one. Bella's self-criticism, along with her idealization of Edward, highlights her low self-esteem, which can be hard on a relationship, and is also a common trait in those vulnerable to abusive relationships. "When Edward shows interest in her, Bella's low self-esteem puts him in a position of power over her; he can treat her however he'd like, because she perceives that he's out of her league," writes psychologist Wind Goodfriend for Psychology Today. Hot on paper but bad in real life.

Besides the fact that Mr. Rochester literally locks his first wife in the attic and then lies about it — for years! — there's a lot to be concerned about when it comes to Jane's relationship with her much older employer. While they might be peak Gothic romance, there are massive power inequities between Mr. Rochester and Jane. He's roughly 20 years older than her, wealthier, and her boss — all differences that make for an unstable relationship foundation. 

The problems with such inequities become obvious when their marriage is thwarted at the altar and Jane has to flee, losing not only her intended but also her income and home. It's telling that this couple can't actually reconcile until a fire in Mr. Rochester's home blinds him and Jane inherits her own wealth, placing the lovers on more equal footing.

But besides the foundational problems in their love affair, Mr. Rochester also tends to manipulate and gaslight Jane. Whether he's tormenting her by posing as a fortune teller or lying about his first marriage, he's not kind to Jane. And kindness is incredibly important for love. "Couples feel safe and secure when kindness is the norm of their interaction," writes couples counselor Lisa Rabinowitz on Counselor for Couples. In other words, Jane should probably swipe left until she finds someone a bit nicer.

Connell and Marianne, the on-again-off-again couple at the heart of Sally Rooney's "Normal People," share a deep bond that tethers them together across many years. But while they might be emotionally intertwined, there are a few major red flags, including a power imbalance and emotional unavailability. 

In particular, both characters struggle with insecurity that is damaging to their relationship. For Connell, this manifests in shame and fear of judgment that leads him to hide his relationship with Marianne, particularly while they're in high school. In one key moment, insecurity causes Connell to assume Marianne won't want him to stay with her during their college summer break, which leads to a breakup. Connell and Marianne's insecurities repeatedly prevent this couple from being honest with one another, which leads to a series of major miscommunications that disrupt their relationship. 

"A healthy relationship happens when two people are honest and genuine with each other," writes mental health counselor Nancy L. Johnston at mindbodygreen. "But if we deprive our partner of this honesty, we prevent the relationship from deepening and maturing." If both characters could bring themselves to more directly advocate for their wants and needs within the relationship, this couple would have been a lot less off and a lot more on.

Taylor Jenkins Reid's novel is loosely based on the sordid true story of 1970s rock band Fleetwood Mac. Its central couple, Daisy Jones and Billy Dunne, are inspired by real-life toxic couple Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham. 

If being based on a famously volatile and allegedly abusive relationship wasn't enough, these two fictional rock star lovers have got red flags galore. First, there's the fact that Billy is married, which makes his connection with Daisy problematic. Plus, their high level of intensity means they bring out both the best and worst in each other.

But the most glaring concern? Throughout the novel, both Daisy and Billy struggle with substance abuse, often in lieu of healthier ways of managing their emotions. "Substance abuse and addiction can lead to misunderstandings, poor communication, personality changes, social detachment, emotional numbing, and dishonesty," psychologist Kelly E. Green wrote for Psychology Today. All of those are blocks to healthy intimacy. This couple might be glamorous, but they're not aspirational.

If you or anyone you know needs help with addiction issues, help is available. Visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration website or contact SAMHSA's National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

If jumping in front of a train wasn't a big enough red flag, there are more than a few major problems apparent in Anna Karenina and Alexei Vronsky's love affair. Yes, they have passion in spades. The problem is that it's basically all they have. Since an older Anna is already married, their relationship requires her to abandon her marriage, her child, and basically all of society in order to be with her lover. Chemistry is important for any good relationship, but compatibility is what helps make it sustainable, and this pairing is just too fraught with divisions to be healthy. 

Anna's jealousy, which gradually flares into paranoia, is another massive red flag. While her insecurities are likely a side effect of the concessions she must make in order to be in the relationship, they nonetheless strain her bond with Alexei. 

Jealousy is natural, but it can also easily spiral into unhealthy behavior when it goes unchecked. "Communication, sex, trust, and feelings of partnership will all likely suffer," therapist Katie Schubert said in an interview with Verywell Mind. While hot and heavy literary relationships might run on feelings of jealousy, it's a major red flag for real life love.

If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic abuse, you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website.