What Is A Gray Divorce? Even Celebs Are Intrigued By The Relationship Ender

As beautiful as happily-ever-afters are, for some, being married to the same person for life isn't realistic. In fact, according to a 2021 report by the U.S. Census Bureau, the average American marriage lasts about eight years. At that point, either one or both parties decide it's time to call it quits. Those who believe the second time's the charm don't have much better luck either. The average length of a second marriage in the U.S. is about seven years, per the Centers for Disease Control.

But for those who manage to stay together decade after decade before divorce, there's a specific term for it: gray divorce. Why? It's presumed that people over 50, when these divorces occur, have gray hair. Also called a late-life divorce, there's been an uptick of gray divorces in the U.S. as well as other Western societies. While research can't pinpoint exactly why, some theories suggest that with people living longer, they want to get the most out of life while they're still able. For some, that means getting back into dating after a divorce or untethering themselves from their lifelong relationship. Even Kelly Ripa found gray divorce "fascinating" after listening to an article about it, as she shared on "Live with Kelly and Mark."

However, like happily ever after, a gray divorce might only be beautiful in theory. So, it's a good thing that Ripa moved on from the idea and didn't throw in the towel.

Although the increase in gray divorces could be linked to people living longer and wanting to take advantage of that, family structure also comes into play. Some couples who may have wanted a divorce earlier in their relationship chose to stay together for the sake of their children, waiting for them to become adults, hoping there would be less of a negative impact. Financial security, as well as a shift in attitudes toward divorce, are also contributing to this increase.

"The traditional stigma surrounding divorce once kept unhappy couples married," divorce attorney and author of "The Prenup Prescription," Aaron Thomas told Oprah Daily. "As this stigma has faded, more couples feel free to end things rather than stay together for societal or religious reasons." Thomas also pointed out the economic factor, especially regarding women. It's easier to live an independent life when you don't need to rely on anyone financially. In fact, the most common reason people stay in unhappy marriages is because of money. As of 2025, the average cost of a divorce is $11,300. Then, with the divorce behind you, one needs to be able to provide for themselves.

With all these components falling into place, it makes sense that a gray divorce would be the way to go for some people. And, as we've seen in epic post-divorce glow-ups, ending a relationship can be physically and mentally refreshing, offering a chance to restart. 

If you've spent the majority of your life with someone, divorce means losing the good stuff along with the bad. "When a lifetime partnership ends, they must find a way to readjust and rethink what brings them meaning, purpose, and connection," Michelle Feng, MD, told Verywell Mind. "Divorce can take away some of the built-in structure of interacting with others that occurs as a couple and a family. Without it, we can feel aimless, not a part of the rest of society, and lonely." It's also important to consider that if you're a woman in a heterosexual relationship but don't have the financial means to go it alone, it can be financially stressful. Research has found that after a divorce, a woman's household income can drop by as much as 40%.

According to a 2022 study published in The Journals of Gerontology, as of 2019, gray divorce rates were at 36%, having jumped from less than 8% in 1990. In fact, the only age group with increasing divorce rates is among those 65 and older. While it's great that people aren't afraid to start over, it's not all rainbows and sunshine. Divorce at any age isn't easy, and the word "gray" doesn't reduce the emotional toll. So, before you jump on the gray divorce bandwagon, weigh all the pros and cons. Should you decide that ending things is best, make a playlist of some powerful divorce anthems to help you on your journey.