5 Essential Elements That Make Married People Happier

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Follow these tips for a long & happy marriage!

Life isn’t a Disney film where you immediately get a happy ending after sharing “I dos”. It’s only the start of a new chapter in your life, and marriages require so much more than only love.

There is no magic formula you can concoct for a happy marriage. But there are ways to make your married life happier!

What Makes a Happier Married Life?

Despite what you might think, a happy married life doesn’t mean zero fights. It’s normal to have ups and downs in any relationship. But the difference between a happy marriage and an unhappy one is how you respond to arguments.

Happily married couples listen to each other’s point of view, know when the argument is going off track, and don’t invalidate each other’s feelings. Importantly, they want and try to work through their patches.

Three main things that make a happy married life are love, commitment, and respect.

And when these three are present, other aspects follow, such as trust, patience, communication, humor, empathy, and more.

5 Essential Elements That Make Married People Happier

There is no one-size-fits-all solution for all marriages, but these elements are key to having a happier married life.

1. Commitment

We’re humans, and not every day is sunshine and rainbows. There may be days when you feel like the love isn’t there. But perhaps more important to a married life is commitment—the act of choosing your partner every single time through the good and bad times.

Some couples don’t always end up in marriage. Instead, they cohabitate. And while that is totally okay, it’s also more temporary.

It’s a good stage for testing the waters, but marriage is choosing to commit to your person til death do you part.

2. Connection

Meaningful connections are crucial for any type of relationship. This is not just for significant others, friendships, and family members—but especially for marriage.

A healthy connection with your partner could mean a listening ear, understanding, empathy, or validation. Often, this is the foundation which other elements could be built upon.

According to these reports of happiness in marriage, individual happiness occurs by being accepted, appreciated, and needed by the other person.

So if you feel disconnected from your partner, problems could arise.

3. Patience

Patience is a base for a nurturing, lasting relationship. This lets you slow down—whether it’s to foster deeper connections, savor the feeling of love, or take time to relax during an agreement.

Being patient gives room for growth. It offers a space or breathing room for communication to happen thoughtfully.

In contrast, impatience makes people rush into things. You could fight with your partner over something petty and blurt hurtful things you don’t mean, where you’ll pay the consequences after.

How to be more patient:

  • Listen to your partner without interrupting to fully understand their perspective.
  • Respect your partner’s feelings and don’t disagree or invalidate them.
  • Take a timeout if things get too heated and wait until you and your partner have calmed down.
  • Start with yourself—be patient with yourself, and don’t beat yourself over minor mishaps.
  • Slow down for meaningful conversations.

4. Communication

A long-term relationship, especially marriage, is built on effective communication. Talking with your partner openly and honestly helps you forge long-lasting, happy marriage bonds.

But just because you are talking doesn’t always mean you’re effectively communicating.

Here are some characteristics of good communication:

  • Active listening - Listen attentively, be engaged, and reflect on what your partner says.
  • Kindness - Be kind to your partner even when you disagree. Use a calm voice, be patient, and eliminate the notion of “I” by being mindful of your partner’s perspective.
  • Not personalizing issues - Don’t take matters personally. Instead, focus on the situation or problem and how to resolve it.
  • Be present - Eliminate distractions (like your phone) to be fully present in the moment.
  • Show acceptance - Even if you don’t agree with your partner, accept and validate their feelings.

Some signs of red flags in your and your partner’s communications are:

  • Criticizing each other
  • Getting defensive
  • Giving each other silent treatment
  • Assuming you know what your partner thinks or feels
  • Refusing to compromise
  • Repeating the same arguments over and over

5. Intimacy

Most people quickly relate intimacy to sex. You can be intimate with your partner without being sexual. Conversely, you can be sexual without being intimate.

While it encompasses sex, intimacy serves a bigger purpose in a healthy relationship physically, psychologically, and emotionally.

So, what is intimacy in marriage? It’s about being comfortable, vulnerable, and open to your partner. In marriage, being close is crucial for intimacy.

Aside from all the elements mentioned above, these are also crucial to be intimate in your marriage:

  • Feeling comfortable - You should be comfortable around your partner. Being self-conscious prevents you from deepening your connection. And if one person is uncomfortable, that could mean there are underlying issues between you and your partner.
  • Sex is also important - We’ve established intimacy is more than sex. Still, sex is vital to cultivating a healthy marriage. It’s a physical way to show your connection, vulnerability, and affection to your partner. However, it should not predicate your entire relationship.


Many people dream about a happy and magical wedding their entire lives. But not everyone thinks about what happens after the glam and entourage is over: the marriage.

Your married life may not always be smooth sailing, but that’s normal. With the right elements in your marriage, you can live your happily ever after.

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