5 BDSM Tips You MUST Follow During Your First Experience

Dakota Johnson as Ana wearing a blindfold and sitting on a couch in Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
Fifty Shades of Grey via Universal Pictures

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5 BDSM Tips You MUST Follow During Your First Experience

You and your partner have sat down and talked about spicing up your sex life.

You thought about the best way to do that and decided on starting with some light BDSM play... now what?

Before you start tying each other up, it's important to know what BDSM is and how to make the most of your first experience.

Scroll below for five tips you must follow during your first BDSM experience to make the most of it.

Fifty Shades Darker via Universal Pictures

A Brief Definition of BDSM

Chances are you have a pretty good idea of what BDSM is—after all, you've already looked into doing it—but we figured we'd define it just to be safe.

BDSM is an acronym for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. It's defined on Merriam-Webster as:

"sexual activity involving such practices as the use of physical restraints, the granting and relinquishing of control, and the infliction of pain"

We realize this definition sounds a little bit extreme and terrifying, so don't let that prevent you from getting a little BDSM action on. It doesn't all need to be painful or restraining.

First Time BDSM Experience Tips

To make sure you experience the most pleasure from your first BDSM experience, we rounded up a few tips for you to follow.

1. Communicate

It's so important to keep an open stream of communication when you're partaking in BDSM activities for the first time. Tell your partner how you're feeling and be sure to check in with them. We'd like to note that this shouldn't just happen when you do BDSM, but every single time you have sex. Communication is a vital part of every aspect in a relationship, especially sex.

2. Have a Safe Word

Going off the above point, make sure you have a safe word going into your BDSM experience. It can be the same one for both of you or a different one for each of you. It's all up to you, but make sure you both know what your safe words are so as to avoid any confusion during your BDSM play. When things get out of hand or you feel uncomfortable, scream your safe word.

3. Decide on Your Props Together

Do you want to be tied up? Does your partner want to be blindfolded? Decide on the acts that you'll be partaking in together. Again, this will help you avoid any confusion when you go at it. Plus, it's nice to know what your partner's planning on doing to you beforehand, just in case it's not really something you want to do. And figuring out all of this together will only make the two of you more excited for when it's time to get down to business.

4. Take It Slow

Remember, this is your first time. You don't have to go all Fifty Shades of Grey when you first start out, so don't put that pressure on yourself. Take things slow and engage in what you're comfortable with. If you get tied up and realize you don't like it, tell your partner to untie you. Yes, you should push yourself out of your comfort zone, but if you're really not feeling something, don't do it.

5. Practice Aftercare

Once everything is said and done, set aside some time for aftercare. This can include going through a play-by-play of what you just experienced or simply cuddling and being more affectionate with your partner. However you want to unwind post-coitus is up to you, just be sure to do it. Aftercare is super important and something most people forget to do after intercourse.

Let's Keep the Conversation Going

Have you tried BDSM before? What worked for you during your first experience? Tweet us @womendotcom or message us on Facebook!

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