It's Time to Laugh Thanks to These Hilarious David Letterman Quotes

david letterman
via NBC

33 years of laughs.

17 David Letterman Quotes That Are So Funny, You'll Belly Laugh

In honor of David Letterman's birthday we decided to find some of the best quotes uttered from the funny man himself.

If you miss Late Night With David Letterman or the Late Show with David Letterman then take a peak at some of the funniest and inspiring quotes from the longest serving late night talk show in history, Mr. Letterman.

Enjoy some of the best David Letterman quotes. Send them to your friends, parents, or coworkers, there's something for everyone. Make your day a little bit brighter.

David Letterman Quotes

  • "Anything worth doing is worth overdoing."

  • "For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home."

  • "There is no off position on the genius switch."

  • "I cannot sing, dance, or act; what else would I be but a talk show host?"

  • "New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you."

  • "The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were gone."

Inspirational David Letterman Quotes

  • "If what you've done is stupid, but it works, then it really isn't all that stupid."

  • "I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious."

  • "My greatest fear in life is being dull. You can be great, you can be awful, but just don't bother being dull."

  • "Pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing."

  • "Life is experience is the best teacher."

Funny David Letterman Quotes

  • "Now all of us can talk to the NSA-- just by dialing any number."

  • "Labor Day is a great American holiday that people celebrate by going out and buying products made in China."

  • "Fall is my favorite Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees."

  • "It's been so busy at the Post Office this Christmas, they've had to add three million, 'This Window Closed' signs."

  • "I saw a robin redbreast in Central Park today, but it turned out to be a sparrow with an exit wound."

  • "Wherever we've traveled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water."

Let's Keep the Conversation Going...

What David Letterman quote made you laugh the most? We want to know!

Tweet us @womendotcom or follow us on Facebook and Instagram!

We hope you love the products we recommend! Before you continue, we’d like you to know that there are affiliate links in this article. This means Women.com may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the following links. Prices are accurate and items are in stock as of time of publication.