6 Love Lessons We've Learned From Taylor Swift

Part of what makes Taylor Swift so relatable is that she's not afraid to be up front and honest about her relationships. Over the years, the Grammy-winning singer has taught us countless love lessons, not only through the dating advice she dishes out in her songs, but just through living her life in the public eye.

Our favorite? Always love loudly, regardless of what other people think. It's no secret Swift has dated a few people (and there's nothing wrong with that) because she's never been afraid to leave a relationship that's not serving her. Case and point? Her winning relationship with Travis Kelce. Swift could have chosen to keep their relationship out of the spotlight to save herself from the court of public opinion, but she wanted to support him at his football games. In return, Kelce showed support for her during her "Eras Tour." "I'm just there to support Travis. I have no awareness of if I'm being shown too much and pissing off a few dads, Brads, and Chads," Swift famously told Time in December 2023 of being filmed at his games. That fits with an important message she told Rolling Stone more than a decade earlier in 2012. "The way I look at love is you have to follow it, and fall hard, if you fall hard. You have to forget about what everyone else thinks. It has to be an us-against-the-world mentality," she lamented. But that's far from the only lesson we've learned from Miss Lover.

Still on the Travis Kelce train, many Swifties have commented on how they've never seen Taylor Swift look as happy as she has since she started dating the Kansas City Chiefs player in summer 2023. And sources close to the two seem to agree. "Travis is in love with Taylor and he's never been happier. Taylor's feelings are mutual and she is so happy and feels comfortable with Travis. She loves that she can be open with their relationship, live her life, and enjoy this special time together," a insider told Entertainment Tonight in February 2024. We're not saying Swift didn't have fun with her exes, but it definitely seems like she's "having the time of her life" with Kelce. And we don't mean in the phony way she refers to in "I Can Do It With A Broken Heart."

Swift herself confirmed the joy she and Kelce feel together while accepting the Video of the Year award for "Fortnight" at the 2024 MTV Video Music Awards in September 2024. "Something that I'll always remember is when I finished a take and I'd say, 'Cut!' and we'd be done with that take, I would always just hear someone cheering, like, 'Wooo!,' from across the studio where we were shooting it... That one person was my boyfriend Travis," she said, with a smile on her face. "Everything this man touches turns into happiness and fun and magic." So, remember, just like spelling, relationships should be fun.

Taylor Swift told Glamour in 2014 that she has a move called the "freeze-out" for love interests that aren't matching her interest levels. Essentially, it involves taking a step back and not giving the other person your time until they give a clear sign they're properly interested. If they don't? You know they're not the one for you. "Guarding your heart and protecting your dignity are a little bit more important than clarifying the emotions of someone who's only texting you back three words," Swift shared. "I've learned that from trying to figure out people who don't deserve to be figured out."

We saw her put that into motion with Harry Styles the year prior. A source told Vanity Fair that Styles supposedly spent a year pursuing Swift, claiming, "He wore her down." But, after a rocky road, the insider claimed Swift felt the former boy bander was "looking at every girl" while they were together and even went MIA while they were spending time in London. Though Styles' rep denied the claims, if that really was how things went down, we can see why Swift was ready to end things if things didn't feel equal and respectful. In the years since, though, Styles has had only nice things to say about Swift.

Even Taylor Swift can't resist the appeal of a bad boy. "There's a really interesting charisma involved. They usually have a lot to say, and even if they don't, they know how to look at you to say it all," she explained to Parade in 2012. It makes sense that Swift held this view. One of the main reasons bad boys are seen as attractive is because of their undeniable confidence. However, with that confidence sometimes comes other issues; such as immaturity or an unwillingness to commit. As Swift herself admitted, "I think every girl's dream is to find a bad boy at the right time, when he wants to not be bad anymore." And therein lies the lesson. The bad boy needs to have good intentions and be ready for a relationship (if that's what you're looking for, of course) for there to be a happy ending.

We're guessing Miss Americana probably wished she'd heeded her own advice a little more when she dated The 1975 singer Matty Healy in 2023. Healy had quite the reputation, from the tattoos to being generally outspoken to a fault; he was widely criticized in 2023 for his racially insensitive remarks toward rapper "Ice Spice." Fans have speculated Swift and Healy's brief fling inspired much of the album "The Tortured Poets Department," with the scathing "The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived" in particular thought to be about the rocker.

However, we have to admire how Swift practiced what she preached at the end of the relationship, dusting herself off and moving on. That's a quality she's maintained long before Healy came into her life. "I've come to a realization that I need to be able to forgive myself for making the wrong choice, trusting the wrong person, or figuratively falling on my face in front of everyone," she told Elle in 2019. "Step into the daylight and let it go." And she did.

Taylor Swift made a poignant point while discussing the inspiration behind the "Reputation" song "New Year's Day" during one of her Secret Sessions in 2017. The beauty recalled when she threw a New Year's Eve party with Joe Alwyn (but didn't mention him by name), which started her musing about the nature of committed relationships. "I was thinking about how everybody talks and thinks about who you kiss at midnight... But I think there's something even more romantic about who's gonna deal with you on New Year's Day," she said (via 96.1 KISS). "Who's willing to give you Advil and clean up the house. I think that states more of a permanence."

That's something that's incredibly important to remember in relationships. We all deserve someone who will party with us on New Year's Eve, but then stick around on New Year's Day to clean up the mess. Literally and figuratively.

Another lesson we learned from Taylor Swift's high-profile romances is not to stay in them if they're not working — even if they've gone on for years. Swift's longest relationship was her six-year romance with Joe Alwyn, which ended in 2023. "[They split because of] differences in their personalities," a source told People at the time. "[They] ultimately weren't the right fit for one another." And that's okay, because nostalgia isn't a good enough reason to stay with anyone.

Although Swift has not publicly addressed her split from the actor, many fans found clues in some lyrics for "The Tortured Poets Department" that hint at Swift growing frustrated with waiting for a marriage proposal. Songs like "The Prophecy" and "So Long, London" suggest a relationship that stagnated, where both parties had grown used to being around each other, but neither one wanting to progress things further.

Alwyn opened up about the end of the romance to The Times in June 2024, confirming that despite so many years together, there was no "Bad Blood." "I would hope that anyone and everyone can empathize and understand the difficulties that come with the end of a long, loving, fully committed relationship of over six and a half years," he said. "That is a hard thing to navigate." But just because the split was tough, that doesn't mean both aren't better off. Swift, of course, jumped in to loved-up fun with Travis Kelce, while a source told People of Alwyn, "He's dating and happy." Swift herself probably said it best when she told InStyle a decade earlier (via USA Today), "I think that you can love people without it being the great love."