Red Flags In Alec & Hilaria Baldwin's Marriage That Spell Trouble

Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Baldwin's marriage has received its fair share of attention since they tied the knot in 2012. They've weathered countless storms and welcomed seven children (Alec is a dad of eight as he also shares daughter Ireland Baldwin with Kim Basinger), but their relationship certainly isn't devoid of red flags.

One of the biggest? Alec asking Hilaria to keep it down while she was in labour with their second child. Hilaria opened up about her husband's poor behavior on Instagram Stories in 2021, admitting she was understandably livid. "When my husband told me to shush during labor I knew our marriage was over ... He was on the phone 'Shush! Can you keep it down?'" she recalled (via Newsweek). "He realized he sounded like an ass and he cowered," she added, also noting, "I'll spare you the details of my reaction for now. But it never happened again." Alec's reaction suggested he didn't respect his wife during one of the most vulnerable times in her life, nor did he appreciate her sacrifice — and that's not a good sign. Though Hilaria stayed with Alec, that's far from the only eyebrow raising aspect of this controversial marriage.

Though prenuptial agreements aren't for everyone, they're not a red flag if both parties properly comprehend what they're signing. In fact, prenups can sometimes have a positive impact on a marriage. The issue here? Hilaria was willing to sign one without even understanding it. 

The couple discussed the legal papers on their TLC reality show "The Baldwins" in January, with Alec admitting he wanted one because of his first marriage with Kim Basinger, which lasted from 1993 until 2002. "I said, 'Let's have a prenup.' She wasn't happy about it. It's an awkward thing," Alec said (via Page Six). Hilaria then shared her side of the story, admitting, "I was like, 'You know what? I'll just sign it,' which was probably very stupid of me back then," she said. "Now, I would read it again, but I just said, 'I won't sign it. I don't really want to think about the end by the beginning.' And then you were like, 'Yeah, I don't want to do it either,'" she told Alec. In the end, the two didn't get a prenup.

Though Hilaria not asking a lawyer to explain the terms wasn't smart, it's also a potential issue if Alec knew she wasn't fully aware of what she was signing but was willing to let her do it anyway. As relationship counsellor Christine West told Hitched, the healthiest way to approach a prenup is for both sides to talk through and set out the terms together. "If couples can be level headed enough to sit down together and draw up a plan before they marry, they can be certain they will never have to go through [animosity]," she explained.

Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Baldwin have forced us to confront our fixation with age gap relationships and haven't shied away from addressing the almost three decades between them. Hilaria admitted on "Witches Anonymous" in 2022 she used to judge people in her situation, but realized not everyone who marries someone older has sinister reasons. "Now that I'm in that relationship and people will say those things about me regularly, I realize, what was this trained into my head? Why was I so judgmental about other people who are literally just finding love? Maybe their love looks different from you and from your love or what I thought love would be but it doesn't make it not valid," she said.

Though we agree with Hilaria's take, the statistics stacked against large age gap couples don't lie. Scientific studies suggest three years ideal for a successful relationship, and Janet Bayramyan, LCSW from Road to Wellness, told us while highlighting Sydney Sweeney and Jonathan Davino's red flags too many years can create imbalance. "While age differences can be healthy and functional, they may sometimes lead to power imbalances, particularly if one partner was quite young when the relationship began," she said. 

Hilaria was 27 when she started dating Alec, who was 53, and they were likely in different stages in their lives. They also had very different experiences, as Baldwin had been famous for decades when he met his now wife. She's admitted their age gap has highlighted big differences in how they view things, too. "I have a 26-year age difference with my husband and [differing opinions] is just one of the things we have to understand about each other," she told People's "Mom Talk" in 2018.

Hilaria Baldwin faced serious backlash in 2020 when she was accused of faking her Spanish heritage and speaking with a faux Spanish accent. There was also confusion over where Hilaria hailed from, as it was suggested she was born in Mallorca, Spain, when she was actually born in Massachusetts. In a since deleted Instagram video, Hilaria hit back (via BBC News), "I've seen chatter online questioning my identity and culture. This is something I take very seriously, and for those who are asking I'll reiterate my story, as I've done many times before." She continued, "I was born in Boston and grew up spending time with my family between Massachusetts and Spain. My parents and sibling live in Spain and I chose to live here, in the USA."

But when it came time for the "Beetlejuice" star to defend his wife, he didn't really. In an Instagram video seemingly designed to address the Hilaria drama, the "30 Rock" star instead focused on slamming social media and past fake stories about himself, including telling his followers, "Let's face it, Facebook is a corporation you should avoid if you could. You should avoid them if you can." 

Not only did Alec fail to vehemently defend his wife (which may suggest he was more worried about his reputation than hers), he later contributed to the controversy. On a February episode of "The Baldwins," Alec told Hilaria (via Daily Mail), "Let's talk slower. Let's talk slower. You're speaking English in a Spanish cadence, which is always perilous for me. Slow down, just a kiss. I can't understand you." Bringing up something Hilaria was so heavily criticized for in front of the world, even as a joke, wasn't exactly a green flag.

Though Alec Baldwin is a proud dad of eight, that hasn't stopped the actor from wanting to grow his brood even more. "He's always asking me for more kids," Hilaria told People in February in a joint interview with Alec. "I don't really want one [but] every now and then, when the baby gets older and grows up to be about 2, I look at [Hilaria] and I go, 'Time to have another,'" Alec added, to which his wife admitted, "But my body's really tired."

Of course, wanting a big family is no bad thing, but the issue here is that Hilaria does most of the heavy parenting lifting. She admitted on People's "Mom Talk" in 2018 she's a more hands-on parent than her husband. "[Alec]'s a little bit more old school. 'You're the mom, you take care of the kids, and then I will come and go and I will read a book with them every once in a while' kind of thing," she said.

Having children should always be a fully joint decision, but seeing as Hilaria takes on more of the responsibilities, it's imperative Alec respects her wishes. Particularly as she's shared the toll having so many kids has taken on her body.

As a mom of seven, Hilaria Baldwin slips into the mommy role easily. But it's a potential red flag that she feels she's parenting Alec Baldwin, too. "Am I his mommy? Sometimes I'm his mommy. Sometimes. At the beginning of our relationship, everyone was like, 'She must have daddy issues because she's married to somebody older.' But it's actually the opposite," she told Romper in 2023.

Hilaria wanting to take care of her husband isn't a problem, but it's important she and Alec remember they're husband and wife to keep their romantic spark alive. "The 'parent' must resist those default urges to nag, criticize and rescue," counselor Georgina Sturmer told Daily Mail. "Allow the 'child' to have autonomy and freedom, even if it might mean they make mistakes, or don't do things as well as we would like," she added. If Hilaria feels she's always the responsible one or Alec thinks his wife is always monitoring him, it could permanently change their dynamics for the worse.