Red Flags In Kristen Bell And Dax Shepard's Relationship, Debunked

Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard have been very open about the difficulties of their marriage. From serious arguments to a lack of sparks when they first met, there are more than a few aspects of the "Veronica Mars" star and the "Parenthood" actor's relationship that have raised a few eyebrows. The couple is well aware of this, too. In 2021, Bell hit back after an Instagram user questioned why she and her husband were so open about the less than picture perfect aspects of their romance. "We adore each other, we just try to always be honest about how marriage, or companionship in any form, is hard sometimes," Bell, who married Shepard in 2013, wrote in a comment (via Comments By Celebs). "You can't always be in control, or right, and it's important to us that we lead with the honesty of your 'perfect match' being a myth," she added. And she had a point.

While something may seem like a red flag on the surface, it's not always so. Orna Walters and Matthew Walters, holistic dating coaches and authors of "Getting It Right This Time: Break Free from Your Hidden Blocks to Lasting Love," admitted the duo being so open about the realities of their relationship isn't a bad thing. "It's refreshing to see a celebrity couple openly sharing that they work on their marriage," they shared. "Bell and Shephard have the means to divorce and instead choose to work on their marriage, showing the world they each value the relationship enough to stick with it," the experts added. Orna and Matthew also spoke exclusively to us about the other possible issues in this high-profile marriage, and why what could be interpreted as a weakness may actually be a strength.

Though rom-coms have long fetishized the idea of an instant, love at first sight connection when a relationship is on the cards, in real life, it doesn't usually happen that way. Kristen Bell has admitted she didn't feel an instant pull towards the father of her children Dax Shepard and said he didn't make much of an impression on her the first time they met. But that doesn't mean they weren't meant to be together.

Speaking on "Today" about meeting her husband at a party, she confessed, "The only thing I remember is that he talked so much." She added, "There were no sparks whatsoever." The "Frozen" star shared a similar sentiment to People in 2019, admitting she doesn't buy into the classic rom-com trope after experiencing real-life love. "All these movies from the '80s taught us that it's love at first sight, and it is supposed to be easy and [that] all you have to do is find that person," she said. "It took me a while to realize, 'Oh, that was such a lie,' because things that you work really, really, really hard for always yield the best results."

Orna Walters and Matthew Walters shared a similar sentiment. They said that not knowing immediately if you're going to have a romantic connection with someone is not necessarily a red flag, and expecting a fight-free relationship isn't realistic either. "The fantasy of finding a mythical 'right' person that you'll never have any conflicts with, and the relationship will be easy, sexy, and fun throughout, has been wreaking havoc in our society for decades," they said. It makes sense. After all, the concept of someone being 'The One' isn't just outdated, it's also rife with patriarchy, as it encourages women to date based on what they think love should look like, not what works best for them. The reality is for some people, a relationship that takes longer to develop into romance can be more fulfilling than one that begins with instant chemistry.

There's a misconception that a couple getting counselling means their relationship isn't in a great place. But bringing in a third party isn't always a sign of impending doom. Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard have long been a celebrity pair who have normalized couple's therapy, which is nothing to be ashamed of. Bell told People in 2017 that she felt her relationship was stronger because of it. "We have a very healthy marriage and we got there by doing therapy when we needed it," she said. Four years later, Bell shared on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" that she and her husband also undertook couples therapy after struggling to make it through the trials and tribulations of the Covid-19 pandemic. "We were at each other's throats ... Relationships take work," she said.

As Orna Walters and Matthew Walters explained, caring enough about your relationship to get counselling is anything but a red flag. "The effort to work on a marriage is a sign of love and commitment and is not a red flag," they said. The twosome added, "Seeking professional help in a marriage ought to be viewed as having an executive coach for a career. People who hire a coach aren't looking for a different vocation, they're often looking to level up in order to have better skills in their current occupation."

We've been conditioned to believe the more things we have in common with someone, the more compatible we are. While that's certainly true in some relationships and it's nice to have shared interests, it's not always a red flag if a couple has a few differences too. In the case of Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell, he's admitted their sames and differences have worked together to made their marriage strong. "We definitely had to work really hard at being a couple because we're both incredibly, painfully stubborn, and we're pretty much opposites," he told People. Bell later told E! News, "I married my polar opposite. We are the antithesis of each other. We argue about absolutely everything, but there is a foundational trust that we've built that keeps us together and is quite stimulated by one another's opinions."

Orna and Matthew Walters agreed Bell and Shepard being fundamentally different isn't necessarily something to be worried about, as he praised the duo for how they've navigated not always being on the same page. "It's the differences between two people that create the spark of attraction and keep chemistry alive in a marriage," they told us. The Walters also explained, "Working through their differences allows them to build resiliency in the relationship."

You'd be forgiven for believing a couple who falls out in such a dramatic way that one of them sleeps on the couch is heading for splitsville. But while a night away from the marital bed may not be a green flag, it's not always a dealbreaker either. Kristen Bell opened up about a screaming match fight she once had with Dax Shepard on "Life is Short with Justin Long" in 2020, around the time they were finding things tough amid Covid-19 restrictions. "What transpired was a lot of volume, a lot of harsh words being thrown around, and it was an angry, angry fight about how nobody does anything for anybody else," she said. "I grabbed my pillow and stomped down the hall, and I sleep in the front room and I'm crying. And we don't talk for three days."

Orna Walters and Matthew Walters said it's not a rare occurrence for one person, or both, to want a break following a fallout to take stock of what happened. "Taking a pause to get some space and calm down gives them an opportunity to regulate their nervous system so they can come back together later to repair and reconnect," the two shared. In fact, it's more of a signal a relationship isn't going to work if you're not arguing. But, to stop a post-argument cool down turning into a red flag, it's imperative the two communicate properly to get to the bottom of the issue (no relationship stonewalling here!) "Even though it may get heated and arguments may happen, having a repair practice creates a safe space to heal and reconnect," Orna and Matthew shared.