Red Flags We Can't Ignore In Gwen Stefani And Blake Shelton's Marriage

Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton stunned the world when they started dating in 2015. After meeting on "The Voice" (while married to other people), the two became the ultimate poster couple for how opposites attract.In the years since, they've barely stopped gushing about one another, sharing sweet sentiments about how they got together. "Gwen saved my life. Who else on earth could understand going through a high-profile divorce from another musician? You can't even imagine the similarities in our divorces," Shelton told Billboard in 2016.

Stefani later shared on "The Voice" in 2023 (via Taste of Country), "When I first came on the show our lives were having this parallel destruction happening. And then, next thing you know, Blake and I start becoming besties and falling in love." But, as sweet as their unexpected love story may seem from the outside, it's hard to ignore that this romance is totally flooded with red flags.

You don't have to be a Gwen Stefani or Blake Shelton expert to know they're two very different people. Stefani was born and raised in California and got her start in punky pop music, while Shelton is a country singing Oklahoman. But Stefani moved her life to the Sooner state to be with her man, even though it wasn't really her thing. "I am not really a dirt person, a bug person, I don't like that much humidity. But it's so beautiful [in Oklahoma], and you kind of feel like you're going into this vortex," she told People. The "Cool" hitmaker appeared to change in a few ways amid their romance, including developing a passion for country music and releasing a country-inspired album. "I never listened to country music, so while Blake was super successful, I never even knew he existed before I met him," she told The Guardian.

But while Stefani evolved, Shelton stayed the same. "He just really hasn't changed, you know? Somebody asked me today, 'Of all the country artists you know, which one do you think is really a country guy? The most authentic?' And ... it's Blake. He lives the life," Shelton's pal Trace Adkins told Us Weekly five years into their romance. And while Stefani embraced Oklahoma life, Shelton never warmed to her home state. Shelton told People of being in the south, "We get away from everything [in L.A.] ... That's where I feel the most comfortable, happy and safe."

There's nothing wrong with learning from your partner and embracing their passions, but one person shouldn't feel the need to completely change. If Stefani felt she couldn't be herself or believes she's always having to fit with Shelton's wants, that could be a red flag.

Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton were fresh out of marriages when they first got together in fall 2015. Stefani previously married musician Gavin Rossdale in 2002, with the two announcing their split in August 2015 (their divorce was finalized in April 2016). Shelton married fellow country star Miranda Lambert in 2011 and later confirmed their breakup and divorce in July 2015. The following Halloween, Stefani and Shelton went public with their romance.

Of course, there isn't a universal timeline for when you should get back into dating after a divorce, but a couple of months isn't much time to recover from the heartbreak of a broken marriage — particularly for Stefani, who was married longer and shared three children with her ex. The No Doubt singer got candid about how devastating her split from Rossdale was, telling The Guardian, "When my family fell apart, it was a catastrophe. How do you pick yourself up from that?"

In fact, Stefani and Shelton moved so quickly, the "God Gave Me You" singer initially considered their romance to be nothing more than a rebound. "If Gwen and I were being honest right now ... I think in the back of our minds we both kind of thought, 'This is a rebound deal,'" he admitted on "Today." Of course, strong relationships can grow from a fun fling after a breakup, but quickly jumping from one relationship to another without giving yourself time to take stock of what went wrong is rarely a good idea. "If you're still in pain, obsessing about your ex, or suffering from emotional whiplash, you're not ready to date. The best post-breakup dating is done when you've accepted the fact that your ex is an ex for good reason," relationship expert Susan Winter told Business Insider.

It's rarely a green flag in a relationship if one person tries to end it. But that's exactly what happened in the early days of Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton's romance. "We had just met, and it was chaos. Both of our lives were in complete turmoil, all over the ground. Nothing could save us at that point," she told People. "There was a point where I was like, 'I can't even talk to you. This is insane. I already have enough problems. This is not happening anymore. We're not going to text or nothing,'" she added.

If it wasn't for Shelton, the two may not have had their epic love story. After makeup-free beauty Stefani attempted to cut off contact, he sent her the start of a song he'd been writing and asked her to finish it. "So I wrote him the verse back — the second verse on the song — and it's just over text," the "Hollaback Girl" hitmaker recalled. That broke the ice again, and they've been together ever since. But Stefani being so unsure if she was in a healthy enough place to be with Shelton at the start is certainly eyebrow raising.

Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton have reportedly struggled with quality time, as a source told Radar Online in 2022 Stefani encouraged her husband to step back from his coaching role on "The Voice" to be home more. "Gwen wants him to spend more time with her, so they can ensure a happy future together," they claimed. The country star also told People that year he wanted a quieter life with Stefani, sharing, "Gwen and I have done so much traveling and touring and work the first half of our lives that now we're like, 'Hey, I'm good to put my sweatpants on at 6 p.m. and watch 'Ozark' eight times.' That's our life now, and we love it."

The awkward thing here? Stefani returned to "The Voice" after he left. "Everybody wants to know, like, 'Why are you quitting?' ... And it's like, 'Well, for the family, you know, for more family time.' And then the very next announcement was Gwen's coming back," Shelton shared on "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" "So maybe she doesn't want too much family time," he added. Though Shelton was joking, it could genuinely cause problems if their work life balance is off, as the person cutting back on career commitments or doing the bulk of domestic work may grow resentful.

That's not the only time work schedules may have caused an issue, either. A source told Life & Style in 2024, "They've been spending a lot of time away from each other the past several months. It's been frustrating," adding, "Gwen and Blake used to be inseparable, but that's changed." They noted the two rang in the New Year apart, which seems like a red flag for two people so determined to spend time together.

Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton appeared to have differing takes on if and when they should get married before they took the plunge. Appearing on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" in 2018, DeGeneres asked Stefani about the possibility of tying the knot, to which the singer responded, "I think about it all the time." The talk show host asked if Shelton thought about getting down on one knee, to which Stefani laughed and said, "I don't know." But Shelton, who was married twice before finding love with his California girl, didn't seem so enthusiastic. While speaking on CMT that same year, he said of getting engaged again, "I think about it. I don't think it's anytime soon or anything. The more time that goes by, I guess, the closer you'd be getting to that." 

The red flag? Shelton's nonchalant approach to the future may have been a sign he wasn't as invested in the relationship as Stefani. It's also potentially troubling if Stefani really didn't know if he seriously saw marriage in their future three years into their relationship if that was something she wanted. "If the woman is simply waiting for the man to pop the question, then it suggests that this huge life step isn't actually something that they are evaluating as a couple," Aimee Hartstein, licensed clinical social worker and therapist, told Brides. "This is a big life step — discuss it outright."