Andy's 30 Funniest Quotes From 'Parks and Recreation'

Andy Dwyer making a shocked face at the camera in 'Parks and Recreation'
Parks and Recreation via NBC

"I'm gonna say that there is at least a chance that I didn't think this through completely."

Three Cheers for Andy Dwyer and His Hilarious Parks and Rec Quotes

Of all the characters on NBC's Parks and Recreation, Andy Dwyer is by far the funniest. He may not have known it, but we all did.

Andy is a breed all his own, but his hysterical one-liners always had us rolling from the very beginning to the end of the series.

Whether you're in need of a little pick-me-up or just want to be reminded why Andy is the best, we've rounded up 30 of his funniest quotes for your enjoyment. Laugh at them all now!

Best Andy Parks and Rec Quotes

  • "I'm gonna say that there is at least a chance that I didn't think this through completely."

  • "Sometimes when I blow my nose, I get a boner. I don't know why, it just happens."

  • "I take my shirt off, because the bad feelings make me feel sweaty."

  • "Just remember, every time you look up at the moon, I, too, will be looking at the moon. Not the same moon, obviously. That's impossible."

  • "Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems."

  • "I cannot emphasize enough how little I was thinking."

  • "I feel like you were mad at me yesterday, and I don't know why, so I made a list of everything I did and I'm going to try not to do any of them again."

  • "Oh, I'm fine, it's just life is pointless and nothing matters and I'm always tired."

  • "I'm not crying, okay? I'm allergic to jerks!"

  • "I tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and I broke everything."

Funny Andy Parks and Rec Quotes

  • "I have no idea what I'm doing, but I know I'm doing it really, really well."

  • "Do I have to tuck my shirt in? Because honestly, that's kind of a deal breaker."

  • "Okay, something is different about my computer. It's gone!"

  • "I'd say my coaching style is centered around fundamentals, with an emphasis on 'fun' and a second emphasis on 'mental.'"

  • "April is the best, but she's 20. When April was born, I was already in third grade. Which means if we were friends back then, I'd have been hanging out with a baby. I don't know anything about infant care. My god, I could have killed her."

  • "Butter is my favorite food."

  • "No, I call it Andy's mouth surprise."

  • "I'm allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 pieces, I throw up."

  • "I didn't recognize us without me, because I'm the only one that matters."

  • "The show must go wrong."

Hilarious Andy Parks and Rec Quotes

  • "The White House, America's most whitest house."

  • "I already took what I call a Dwyer Shower. I rub my armpits with air fresheners."

  • "That is the coolest sentence I have ever heard somebody talk."

  • "You're like an angel with no wings."

  • "Right. Thanks, babe. You're so good at reminding me where pizza is."

  • "Fine, I don't want to talk to you anyways. Reverse psychiatry."

  • "Messy is fun, okay? My whole life is a giant mess and I love it."

  • "Everything hurts. Running is impossible."

  • "I'm just now getting really good at shoe shining. And I mean, I'm still pretty bad at it."

  • "This is an oral exam. And if there's one thing I know is my fantastic it's talk."

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Which Andy quote did you find to be the funniest?

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