How to Return To the Dating Game After a Breakup
Some helpful tips to get you back into the dating scene after a breakup!
If you've gone through a breakup or had your heart broken, you know there's nothing worse. This supremely sad experience can trigger all sorts of emotions such as regret, anger, bitterness, and sadness. Moving on from a breakup can be super confusing and difficult to deal with. While seeking the advice of your friends and family can certainly be helpful, ultimately, it's up to you to decide when you feel ready to re-enter the dating world.
If you feel ready to take charge of your love life, online dating or dating apps are a great way to get started and see who's out there. There are all kinds of dating sites from general to niche (even dating sites for over 50!), where many people have become successful in finding partners. Joining some dating platforms will help make it a tad easier to navigate the world of dating soon after a breakup, but the following tips will also help.
Try to Stay Positive
If you don't feel too jazzed about the idea of returning to the dating game after a difficult breakup, don't worry, you're not alone. Many people find it difficult putting themselves out there again at the risk of getting hurt or once again having things not work out. Even though it's difficult, keeping a positive attitude throughout the process will increase your chances of success exponentially. A positive mindset will help maintain positive behavior, which in turn improves your chances of having a positive outcome - You get what you give!
Set Realistic Expectations
Use your breakup to your advantage! Through the experience of that relationship, you probably learned a lot about what you like and dislike, what you want out of a partner, what worked and didn't work for you in the relationship, etc. By taking time to reflect on your past relationship(s), you'll be able to form realistic expectations for your future partner, and determine the qualities and type of person you're looking for. Also, never forget to consider your core values when looking for a partner. Setting realistic expectations that fit with your core values will help you meet the person who's right for you.
Build Your Confidence
Going from the security of a relationship to being single again can make you feel timid and uncertain. It's important to build your confidence back up before you start dating again so that you can remain optimistic and present the best version of yourself. So how do you build confidence again after a breakup? Go out with friends, practice self-care, go on a shopping spree, repeat positive affirmations, surround yourself with people that make you feel good about yourself. Remember, you have to love yourself before someone else can love you!
Dealing with Feelings from Previous Relationships
After a breakup, it's totally natural to have negative thoughts and/or anxiety weighing you down and keeping you from bursting right back into the dating scene. Making sure that your heart is healed enough to deal with the pressures of dating again is crucial, so don't jump back in until you're fully ready. Fully overcoming your past relationship will allow you to be fully yourself and let your guards down around your potential new person.
Don't Compare Dates to Your Ex
Comparing someone you've just met to your ex is unfair and will lead to problems. It might be difficult to ignore similarities or things that remind you of them, but try the best you can to shift your perspective to the future instead of the past. You're probably ready to start dating again once you can listen to that Ariana Grande song without thinking of your ex. Once you give it some time and notice your life getting even better without your old boo you won't ever look back again!
Try Out Dating Apps
As we mentioned before, dating apps or dating sites can be the easiest way to jump back into dating after going through a breakup. You'll easily get to see tons of options of who's out there and connect with people you may not have met otherwise. Dating apps are great because there's no pressure and you can do things on your own terms. Make sure you do some research and figure out which apps or sites would work best for you - Oftentimes more niche dating services can have better success rates, so make sure to look into all options!
Lean on Friends & Family
During the difficult period after a breakup, it's so important to lean on your family and friends for guidance, positivity, love, and encouragement. Opening up to a friend or family member will help get your feelings off your chest, making you feel lighter and more at ease. Old friends and family members know you well and can help root you to yourself back to your most loving self. They might even have some shared experiences or stories to make you feel more comfortable or inspire you to re-enter the dating world.
The Key Part: Get Out There & Date!
While all of the above factors are important to consider before dating, try not to overanalyze everything. Take time to heal from your past wounds, and when you're fully ready to start dating again, you will know. You may find yourself making excuses or being skeptical of dating, but we encourage you to keep an open mind and an open heart and allow yourself to experience love again.
To recap everything we've gone over in this article: knowing when you're ready to jump back into dating is key, so is relying on friends and family to help you through a breakup, and putting yourself out there whether it be through dating sites or IRL. Never give in to the fear of rejection or not being able to find the right person - your perfect match is somewhere out there waiting for you whenever you're ready to find them!
Let's Keep the Conversation Going
What advice has helped you through breakups in the past?