Top 7 Things to Discuss with Your Fiancé Before Getting Married
What to talk about before tying the knot.
Some couples might see marriage as the starting of a journey. The journey that will let them love and get to know each other better every day. Others might prefer having a clearer view of their future, about the path they are going to embark on. Toward that goal, every couple needs to explore the basic issues that they are sure to confront.
As getting married is certainly a huge deal, one must discuss these important issues with his or her partner before making the marriage official.
If you are confused about what to ask or say, go through the article below and make sure to discuss the following matters with your fiancé before the wedding.
1. Money & Finances
Money and financial issues are often a leading cause of divorce. When you are joining your lives, you need to discuss if you are also joining your finances and how to do that. You both need to disclose your spending habits and any kind of current debt.
If you are not sure how to handle these matters, you can consult a prenup agreement attorney.
You must disclose all of your financial accounts too. If you are keeping a bank account secret, it might cause a serious blow to your marriage once it is discovered.
You must determine whether you want to share bank accounts and joint credit cards. Make sure to discuss if you are willing to combine income from all sources.
2. Sharing Personal History
When you are getting married, harboring significant secrets from your past might cause you future trouble. You need to bring the skeletons out of your closet to demonstrate your trust in your future spouse. It will also be a commitment to the honesty of your relationship.
Issues that are related to your health, family, prior drug or alcohol use, criminal activity, or excessive gambling need to be disclosed and addressed upfront.
3. Children & Parenting
Though this is a common topic for couples to discuss, you may miss some important aspects of this issue. If you do not want to struggle with major differences in your parenting styles a few years into your married life, you need to discuss how many children you want and how you envision raising them.
You also have to clarify what specific circumstances you both are expecting to exist before you are starting a family. Financial stability, as well as career choices, might impact your family expansion. Possible health issues with pregnancy need to be kept in mind.
Consider whether adoption is an option if you are unwilling or unable to have kids. You must discuss these matters beforehand to avoid any kind of future problems.
4. Future Residential Plans
When deciding on your honeymoon destination, remember that settling your residential plans is also important as you will be residing there for a long time.
If one or both of you are in the service, frequent changes of locale can be a requirement. In this case, your career choices are an important point to discuss.
If you were raised in different geographic regions, you need to discuss where you want to eventually settle down.
Stay away from assuming anything. Rather discuss. Being flexible on location can be great for both of you. Whatever decision you make, discuss it to make sure you are on the same page with your partner.
5. Discussing the In-Laws
Both of your families will be a part of the newly expanded family. This causes several new relationships to be maintained as well as potential new and tricky obligations.
You need to discuss and decide how much interaction you are willing to have with the family members you are anticipating after your marriage.
You also have to make it clear if in-laws are expected to attend certain occasions and holidays if you are expecting your partner to take part in the family traditions or if you are willing to start new traditions on your own to celebrate different events. Consider what obligations you might face taking care of aging parents.
6. Asking for Personal Space
When you are getting married, you are bringing two sets of friends with you and individual ways you like to spend your leisure time. This does not need to be identical to your new spouse’s preferences.
You need to discuss how you feel about having separate time and personal space to enjoy your individual hobbies and friends.
Resentment might build when you feel everything needs to be experienced as a couple and you do not have any time for yourself.
Expecting your spouse to give up their long-time activities and friends is certainly not realistic. Make sure to discuss these matters to plan how you can get a reasonable personal time and enjoy your couple time as well.
7. Discussing Conflict Resolution
As arguments are surely inevitable, you need to know how you can resolve conflicts to prevent your new marriage from becoming a hazard. You have to discuss how you are willing to cope with any anxious situations. Ask if your partner becomes physical or withdrawn or whether he or she is quick to anger and generally expresses rage to discharge tension.
Discuss and decide how you see yourselves resolving upcoming small issues that might include preference in home decor, leaving clothes scattered here and there, and how you might handle a truly nerve-wracking or stressful situation. You need to discuss it all to make sure you can have a comfortable and peaceful life together.
Marriage causes many changes in one's life. It brings many new relationships and several responsibilities. To have an organized and disciplined life, start by discussing all of these aspects with your fiancé.
You need to make sure you are walking the same path at the same pace. If you want to have a peaceful married life, make sure you have discussed the above-mentioned facts with your partner. It will certainly help you build a strong and healthy relationship and happy married life.
We Want to Hear From You
Are there any other must-discuss topics that engaged couples should touch upon before marriage?